A Cycles Story
by Certainly-Not-A-Writer
Summary: This is a story from the Law of Cycles. Not a legend, not a myth, but to somebody else it might have been. There is no moral to be learned from this story, nothing to look forward to either. What had happened to our protagonist here may have already happened to some of us too. Maybe even the best of us.
1. 1-1

**1-1**

Morning again. White clouds mixing in with yellow sunlight, criss-crossed shapes that look like the smoke trail above trains, and I imagined that there were really trains there. But who would put trains up here in heaven? Who would need them? Everybody just teleports.

Still…

I dunno why exactly, but I think it would be great if we had trains here. They have this… I dunno what to call it exactly, but… a calming effect, I guess? You ride on a train, look outside, sun sets on the city as you ride by. Breathe a little, try to appreciate the view. There's no other view of a city than from a train. To me it sounds really relaxing.

Maybe I can ask Madoka to install trains here later. What am I talking about? She has more important stuff to think of. Oh well, it's free to dream, I guess.

It was time to get up. Breakfast was almost here.

I got up from my bed and fixed it along with other things. I found out that my hairpin was missing, not where I put it last night. Where did it go? It couldn't had just jumped off the table by some cruel circumstance and landed into some alternate dimension of lost hairpins. Maybe it did land into some sort of alternate dimension of lost hairpins. But if an alternate dimension of lost hairpins did exist, then what kind of people would be in such a place? Would they be people at all? Maybe they would be sentient hairpins, who write their own laws and abide by their own cultures? What if I went after my hairpin and accidentally fell into that alternate dimension, would I have to spend some time convincing my hairpin to go back with me to our world? My hairpin might like staying at that alternate dimension, though, and then I'll be forced to let it be. But that means I'll have to get a new hairpin.

I sighed. What a drag. Good hairpins are hard to come by these days.

Then again, maybe my hairpin's still here. The wormhole to that other place just hasn't opened up yet. If I exert some effort, maybe I'll be able to find it before time runs out.

My room is pretty small, a studio-sized one with a single closet, but comes with a bathroom and a dining table plus kitchenette. There's a desk for reading, complete with a shelf of books I like. No TV, though. Not even a radio. Not like I missed TV, but I kind of miss the sound of a weatherman talking about how sunny it would be while I wake up (then again, his predictions are always wrong. How useless). The room's cute though;it's a really nice place to live in. I'm pretty glad I got a room like this. Anyway, I eventually found my hairpin under the nightstand. I might've knocked it off while I was sleeping or something.

Too bad. I really wished that there was an alternate dimension of sentient hairpins. That would've been pretty cool.

Oh well.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _It was a temporary lapse in sanity, but it was excitement nonetheless. Excitement was hard to come by these days, just like good hairpins as she said._

 _The Girl dresses herself up in her usual fashion: A blue bodice, her skirt, the cape she likes wearing so much, and that precious hairpin that let her kill thirty minutes of her empty time._

 _Time did not flow like ordinary Earth time in the Cycles. It just flowed, but not necessarily in a straight line. It takes turns, cuts corners, leaps over some lines and digs itself under the time of others. If one was to look at the morning sun, she only had to wish for it and she would see the afternoon. In short, it flowed along the person's perception, even if that person's perception was four-dimensional or otherwise._

… _is what the Goddess told her. The Girl did not understand it much herself. If someone did, she wished that that person would explain all of this complexity to her later._

 _So now, time flows as the Girl understood time: Morning, then Lunch, then Afternoon, then Dinner, and finally bedtime._

 _She cooks herself some breakfast. Sausages. The Goddess and her would have Sausages for today. She would've liked to have something else, but Sausages were all the Girl had in the fridge that morning. The contents of her fridge always changed. Though she couldn't remember what was in her fridge yesterday, she had a feeling that the food inside her fridge was switched. Strange, that's what she called it._

 _Just like a lot of things in this broom closet they call a room._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

"So, how did your day go?"

"Well, it was nice. Had to teach the new girls a few tricks, but nothing too advanced. They're naturals."

"It's a good thing we were able to find those girls when we did, huh Sayaka-chan?"

I nodded. "Yup."

Madoka had come somewhere around… eight-ish. She was decked out in a simpler version of that big ball gown of hers: Just a simple white dress with pink ribbons here and there. It went really well with her long hair. Gave off a sort of 'Maiden of the White Forest' vibe.

Sausages and toast were served. Luckily, she brought along a loaf of bread and some coffee. Madoka's always had an intuition for things I needed. That's what I liked about her.

"So how about you, Madoka-chan? What's up?"

She put a finger to her cheek as her eyes went up. "Well… There was a little tiff at the Orion Belt, but I was able to take care of that. You know, Class-A Witches are pretty easy to take care of when you know their weak spots."

"How big was the Grief Seed?"

"Like…" Madoka extended her arms to both sides. " _This big._ I think we got around… Fifty, sixty girls from that, I think."

I whistled. "That's quite the haul."

"Yup. I'm having Nagisa-chan screen them now for recruits. It looks like you'll have some more girls in your hands, Sayaka-chan."

I thought of how I would fit the new girls into the training program, but that's cool—I'll just wing it and see if they can catch up. "Nah, I can handle it."

"I know you can. That's why you're my second, right?"

I stand up from the table and bow down. "And it is quite the honor, if I may say so myself."

Madoka chuckled at my knightly display. "Hey, do you remember that time you played the knight?"

"Huh? When?"

"That play in elementary school, remember?"

I shook my head. "Um, no, I… I don't." As much as I knew, we didn't even have any plays in elementary school back then.

"It was…" She looked like she was having some sort of difficulty with something, before giving me an apologetic look. "Erm… you don't remember, do you?"

I shook my head. "No, I… I haven't watched everything that far yet."

"Sorry, Sayaka-chan."

I knew what it was the second she made that face. She was messed up with her memories again.

"It's fine, Madoka-chan. What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry, Sayaka-chan. I really am." She folded her arms, and then fiddled with a lock of her hair. "It's just that sometimes, I just get so… mixed up with remembering things between you and… old Sayaka. It's embarrassing."

It was one of those random-memories or whatever that came from all the dimensions Madoka had to be in at the same time. Being a… what do you call that? _Omnipresent Being,_ Madoka processes hundreds, maybe thousands of different memories at once. She was bound to mess some up, and I understood that. I wasn't going to let something like that ruin our mornings together.

"I'm really sorry, Sayaka-chan."

She always had a habit of saying 'Sorry' too muchl. "Hey, chill out," I told her. "It's nothing, alright? You're like, all over the universe at once. It's bound to happen sometime."

"I know, it's just… I just feel bad whenever it happens." Madoka was depressed now.

"Are you getting sad for reals, Madoka-chan? Come on, it happens to me too, you know?" I sat down and sipped some of my coffee. "One time, I was training new recruits, right? There's this one girl, name's Nakajima something, I can't remember her…" She shook her head. "Anyway, that's her surname."

"Nakajima, isn't she the…?"

"Don't ruin the surprise," I said, "Anyway, I saw her face, and I remembered that she was this girl at class who had this super-cool tablet. Remember that? We're like, all using grody old laptops and she has this awesome tablet. Now, I made some small talk. You know, just to get chummy with her. But then I told her that and…"

Madoka took a few moments before her eyes widened, and then she covered her mouth. "You did not!"

I chuckled. "Yes, I did. And you know what happened? She stared at me like _this_ and was all like, 'Uh, what are you talking about?'"

"But she doesn't _have_ a tablet in this universe!"

"I know, right? I kept thinking about the old universe, the one before you made that wish. But then I realize, 'Oh crap, she didn't have a tablet because her parents are poor in this universe.' She became a magical girl so her family can be rich, and, and… well, you know what happened after that, I guess."

She nodded. "Right."

"Anyway, I wanted the ground to swallow me whole right then and there. It was embarrassing!"

"Yeah, I would've thought that too. You know how it is, being like this. It's really hard sometimes when you've got memories going left and right and… stuff."

"That's why you should cheer up, Madoka. You don't have to stress yourself out like that. You've got a lot of stuff on your mind already. I mean, small stuff like this shouldn't even hold a candle near you."

I smiled at her, and she kept fiddling with her hair.

"But sometimes, it's the small stuff that… sets you off, really."

"Nah, that's not true," I told her. "You know why, Madoka? Because if you think you're awesome, then you won't even think of the small stuff. You'll be too busy thinking that you're awesome. Right?"

She was silent for a few moments, but good enough she eventually nodded. "…Right."

"Okay, well, how about a memory I _do_ remember: This is about that time when we picked up Hitomi from her Tea Club …"

We spent the whole morning reminiscing memories, the good old days when Madoka and I were friends before all this happened. Mostly about things that happened in school, sometimes things that happened when we were kids. By the time we were finished, she had already forgotten about the… other things we'd talked about earlier. We were already full, and we were pretty happy to boot. While I was putting away the dishes, Madoka passed me the mug she drank coffee out of.

"Sayaka, I… want to ask you something."

I was scrubbing plates, so I couldn't look at her. But I was listening. "Shoot."

"Are you… happy here?"

What kind of a question was that? "Of course I am. What makes you think I'm not?"

She couldn't look at me in the eye, so I could tell that she seemed pretty worried. "…Nothing. I was just curious."

What was she thinking of? Something was bothering her, but at that time I couldn't figure out what would bother the most powerful being in the universe. "You built a nice place here," I told her. "Why wouldn't I be happy?"

Madoka held what I said close to her chest, digested its meaning, and finally made a slight, wistful smile.

"Thank you," she said. "I'm glad you said that, Sayaka-chan. I really am."

There was a clump of soap suds in my hand. Without warning, I turned around and put some of the bubbly stuff on Madoka's face. She was surprised, of course.

"Huh, what—"

"That's for acting weird," and I put clump of suds on her cheek. "And this one's for being too serious."

By now, Madoka had realized what was happening and laughed, and started dodging my attempts to clean her face.

"Now, start chilling out or else I'll soap the lot of ya!"

"Sayaka-chan, stop it!"

We chased each other around the kitchen, and eventually Madoka got a hold of her own clump of became an all-out soapfest. In the end, we were giggling, hugging each other, being considerably cleaner than we were before we had breakfast.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

" _Well, looks like I'm off," she tells the Girl as she leaves. "Have a good day, Sayaka-chan. Thanks for the breakfast."_

" _You know I will." Of course she has to sound like she really was happy. "You too, alright?"_

 _The Goddess smiles before walking away. As she leaves, the Girl looks next door. There, the Goddess is already being welcomed by another magical girl inside her room. The Girl looks at the opposite side. The Goddess is being welcomed into yet another room. There are many rooms where in the building where the Girl lives, and in some of these rooms the Goddess is being welcomed, while at other rooms the Goddess is already leaving, saying that she was off, wishing others to have a good day, thanking others for breakfast._

 _It is surreal to watch so many copies of the Goddess, but the others were lucky—they only got to see one copy of the Goddess. Their own copy. Like time, the existence of certain people was dictated by perception in the Cycles. Only Agents get to see the true number of manifestations of the Goddess' existence._

 _And seeing those manifestations being happy with other magical girls, the Girl can't help but feel robbed._


	2. 1-2

**1-2**

"Okay… role call!" I commanded, reading off the clipboard in my hands.

A bunch of new Agents had popped up since Madoka's haul yesterday. 12 in all. Out of a class of 32, we had 12 rookies. Of course, I told the veteran girls to be nice to them because they were new, that they should all treat each other like sisters. I didn't even have to remind them too much; they all hit it off with each other pretty well. It was as if the moment they saw each other, they instantly became best friends.

Of course, this was always the case here in the Cycles. Now that a magical girl has reached paradise, she has nothing to lose and everything to gain. Perfect friends were only the start of the deal. And it's a really awesome deal, at that. I had so many friends that I lost count. Sure, I can't remember some of their names, but when we meet it's as if we never stopped seeing each other.

A match made in heaven indeed.

The girls obediently announced their names, and one by one I checked them off the roster, double-checked, and finally had peace in mind when I discovered that I had everybody in one place. Not as if they'd be absent for role-call or anything; nobody in the Cycles is ever absent for anything, especially training sessions.

"Alright, ladies, welcome to the Hall," I said from a podium just above them on stage. "I'm Sayaka Miki and I'm Head Agent. Welcome to the Law of the Cycles."

The Hall is our place, where Agents meet up, train, and plan for operations. Kind of like our headquarters. We didn't have any fancy names for it, so we just called it the Hall and… well, it stuck. It's like one of those fancy ballrooms in castles, with pink curtains and chandeliers, like every girl's dream, shot right out of a fairy tale.

Not to brag, but I was pretty much head honcho around here. No, really, I was Head Agent. What does the Head Agent do? Well, I boss people around (kidding!). I plan operations, I'm also in charge of training new recruits as you can see here, and I'm the person Madoka sees whenever she wants help clearing Witches out and stuff. It was a pretty cool job.

You'd think it was tough, but it was actually pretty easy. Just say one word, people follow you. And even if you mess up your speech or mess up whatever you train them to do, the new recruits just shrug it off and that's it, you're still awesome with each other. That's what I liked most about this place: the people here are very understanding and help you out in a bind.

Even when they were just recruits, they understood me. I was flopped the welcome speech I gave them (it sounded a lot better in my mind) but they were still smiling. Some of them were even chuckling, but I knew that it wasn't because my speech sucked, but because they understood how I wasn't that much of a people person in the first place.

I loved them. Every single one of them. I wanted all of them to be my friends.

"…And, well, that's… that's the Law of the Cycles. The long and short of it is, well, we're magic, we can kick back and relax, and we kick ass from time to time," I summarized. "So, how does that sound? Good enough for you guys?"

"That sounds cool," one of them said.

"When can I be Head Agent?" another one asked.

One was even raising both her hands. "Oooh, pick me! Pick me!"

Well, they can act like kids sometimes. Like a pack of kindergarteners, even. But it gives me a chance to be a teacher, and I've always wanted to be a teacher. Handling my own gaggle of girls like this, I'm probably like Miss Saotome now.

I chuckled at the thought. Of course I don't want to end up like her. Why she was always like that, though, I'd never know. Her boyfriends always break up with her all of the time, and she can't seem to keep herself on a stable relationship. Usually they lasted like what, five, six weeks, give or take one week? I remembered making bets with some of the girls in our class about what kind of mistake Miss Saotome would talk about in Homeroom. How a man likes his eggs? How a woman likes cats? How warm a man likes his cup of coffee?

I can't believe people would break up with Miss Saotome over little things like that. I bet those guys were total jerks.

After my introduction, I asked all of the new recruits to introduce themselves too. I liked this part because it's kind of like a little fashion show. Everybody's decked out in their magical girl costumes, they go up the podium, and make their cute introductions. Everybody does their best to make their introduction as cool as the last one, and nobody's a slouch. Some flaunt their uniforms like one girl that had this kimono thing going on, the flares of her blue dress making her look like some sort of super-cute _Miko_. Some others, they use their magic, like another magical girl wearing a black Witch getup. She showed off her powers and summoned these badass muskets out of her witch hat that fired fireworks. There were even three people who cracked jokes, one girl and a pair of twins. And they were even from Kansai, so everybody laughed their heads off when they started spouting jokes in _Osaka-ben_ …

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _Girl A and Girl B are in cahoots with each other so they can cheat out a few Grief Cubes from Girl C. Girl B pretends to be dead while Girl A tries to get Girl C's sympathy._

 _Girl A [begging]: My sister has run out of magic and is dying; please give her your Grief Cubes!_

 _Girl B: [pretends to be dead, sticks tongue out in wacky ways]_

 _Girl C: And why should I? You know how hard it is to get Grief Cubes!_

 _Girl A: Look at her! Can't you see she's dying? Are you even human? Don't you pity her?!_

 _Girl C [stares at Girl B for a few moments, then Girl A]: Um… *sighs* All right, here._

 _Girl C tosses a few Grief Cubes to Girl A, who immediately uses them on her own Soul Gem._

 _Girl A [to Girl B]: Nothing personal; just business._

 _Girl B [sits up with an incredulous look on her face]: WHAAAT?! [points finger] You traitor!_

 _Applause, laughter, because everybody knows that was how life really goes._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

After the introductions, I let them just talk with each other, and their assignment was to show up the next day. Formal training for newbies wasn't going to start until tomorrow, and it would give those who were already training a day's rest from activities. I got a little sociable with some of them, just to let them warm up to me. Besides, I was pretty interested in talking to some of them anyway.

"So, what did _you_ do before becoming a Magical Girl?" I asked.

"Oh, I was a… I didn't go to school, so… I dunno!"

"Well, um, what did your parents do?"

"My dad was… I think my dad's gone," one of them said. "Mom, she was a… uh… she worked at the salon, I think."

"Wow, must've been pretty interesting. They work hard?"

"Yeah, even if they always came home late from their jobs, it's okay. I mean, what's wrong if they leave me alone at home sometimes, right? It helps you be independent."

"And you're just ten years old!" I exclaimed. "That's pretty cool."

"Yeah, my parents love me a lot," she said. "They love me so much that sometimes, they even lock the door for me when they leave."

"And they let you hold the key? That's a lot of responsibility now."

She shook her head. "Nope. They have it. It's so I wouldn't give the burglars the key if they got in. They love me sooo much!"

I talked to another one. "So, what did you do before becoming a magical girl?"

"Ah, I wrote things."

"What, like novels?"

"Uh-huh."

"Cool!"

"Have you read one of my novels?"

"Well, I don't think so. But I'm not really that much of a book reader anyway so I guess that's it."

"No surprise there, I suppose," she said. "A nice man uses his name instead for the books I write."

I figured that I should try one more time just so I'll be able to get familiar with everybody. I had to be friendly, because that's what a leader does, right?

"So, what did you do before becoming a magical girl?"

"I was… I was a… erm…" This girl kind of looked like an airhead. "I think I was a student!"

"Well, what did you do when you were a student?"

"I collected teddy bears."

"Teddy bears? Really? Wow, they must be pretty cute."

"You think so?"

I nodded. "Yeah, totally."

"Some other people didn't think so, though."

"Really? What happened to them?"

"There was this one girl… No, not a girl. She was my mom. I think… I think she died."

"Oh my god, I'm sorry."

She waved her hand. "No, no, don't; please. It's okay." She smiled. "I killed her."

"I'm sorry?"

"I said I miss her." She was still smiling. "But I got over that, so it's okay now."

"That's… what I thought you said."

After that, I let them talk with themselves. I was probably just a little worn out, is all.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

The rest of the afternoon gave me a much needed chance to fix paperwork. You would think that in heaven, everything would be automatic. But keeping track of how many Agents were active down to how many sanitary napkins they would use would need some form of bureaucracy or other. Papers would need to be signed, forms filed, telepathic calls made. Sometimes, pencil-pushing like this takes the fun out of the job, but it's worth it. Like everywhere else in the Cycles, the people you talk to here are nice. They're more than willing to take your forms, more than happy to accept your requests, and they're really ecstatic to deliver those sanitary napkins you need. It's perfect clockwork.

I was in my office, stacking the last couple of documents for new recruits while wearing a pair of glasses. The place was a little small—just a wood desk with some file cabinets here and there. There was a coffee table with a few sofas in front of the desk, and I had a little kitchenette to the side, with a sink and a microwave and other things. Of course, it still looked like the rest of the Hall, with shiny, glittery stuff all over the walls. I would've liked it to be less… gaudy, though.

Somebody knocked on my door. _"Miki-san?"_

At this point, I was just killing time in my leather lazy-boy chair, but pretending to be busy was part of the job of being busy. "Come in."

A little girl with long pink hair that went down to her waist. She wore a brown bonnet, a khaki smock that covered her scant maroon dress. In her hands were a stack of folders a foot taller than she was, toppling like a Jenga tower during the late game. Of course I rushed towards her and quickly took the rest of her load off, which she gladly appreciated.

She sighed, a cute, squeaky sound. "Thank you, Miki-san. I thought I was going to drop all of these."

Nagisa Momoe. If I was Head Agent, then she was probably my lieutenant. Well, more like my secretary, really. She takes care of paperwork, most of the stuff I'm supposed to do. The stack she brought around was almost 3/4s of the papers I was supposed to sign. What's useful about her is she's really good at mimicking signatures. Besides from organizing my calendar and making really great coffee, of course.

"So, all of these are taken care of?" I asked her. I picked up one of the files, and boy was she great at impersonating my signature. It actually scares me sometimes. .

She smiled and gave a small salute. "All signed in triplicate like you asked, Miki-san."

Works hard, very friendly, and does her best to please. Of course Madoka couldn't have picked someone better as my second than Momoe.

 _There was just something the Girl did not trust about her._

"What's the next thing I'm supposed to do?" I asked, smiling.

 _Forcing a smile, maybe._

"Um…" Nagisa put down the rest of the files she carried and took out a small notebook, from which she read out my daily itinerary. "After organizing paperwork, you'll… be doing some research and organize study plans. After that, you get some R-and-R."

"My favorite time of the day, I might add." Finally, time to rest. Right after I finish that darned lesson plan first. "I'll be at my usual place, Momoe-san."

She cocked her head to one side. "And if someone tries to reach you?"

 _Nobody will try to reach her._

"Tell them I'm not to be disturbed. You know, the usual drill."

"The usual drill; got it." Nagisa wrote down some marks inside her notebook. "Anything else, Miki-san? Coffee, maybe?"

"After you file those docs, you can take the rest of the day off. How's that sound?"

"Are you sure? Um… okay." She nodded. "But about the day off, no thanks; I'm working overtime."

 _The Girl raised a brow. Why the pause?_

"Logging in more hours?" I asked her.

"Uh-huh."

"I see. Alright, well I'm going then." I started walking towards the door. "Make sure to lock up before you leave, okay?"

"Got it!" I heard from behind.

 _Her Secretary's stare stuck on her back until she was gone from the door._

When I was a little of sight, I held the side of my head, feeling some sort of warmth right above my ear.

What was I thinking earlier?


	3. 1-3

**1-3**

It happened again. I didn't know how to describe it, but it was a sort of… lightheadedness. Almost like nausea. It had been like this for almost a week. I didn't know when it came. It just did, sometimes at the worst moments. Like at the office earlier, I thought I was… hearing things. I couldn't remember what things, just… things. Someone whispers behind your shoulder, and you look back but you don't know who said it. You even doubt that you heard it in the first place.

I knew that it happened randomly, but it usually happened whenever I woke up, whenever I saw Nagisa Momoe.

I shook my head. No, I shouldn't be thinking too much into it. It would've been bad for my health. Maybe I was just going through some sort of dizzy spell or something. Caused by stress or something like that.

But what's to stress about? I'm in heaven. Never mind.

I took a deep breath, and let it all hiss out slowly. Finally, I can relax. Time for some R&R.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

I came to a room where there was a sofa. In front of the sofa was a big LED-TV with a Blu-Ray player mounted on the wall. The room itself had light brown walls, modern designs, circular lights, like one of those Architect's Digest cover pages. On a counter, there's a popcorn machine, a fridge full of soda, lots of snacks. There were windows there, glass ones with a view atop a high-rise in Mitakihara City, a hill in Germany during the spring, a bungalow in Kagoshima during the summer, even a cottage on the French alps during the snow, all scenic views switched via remote control.

I call this place the Rec Room, because, well, you do recreational stuff here.

And it was just _my_ place. Superman has his Fortress of Solitude, and Sayaka Miki has her Rec Room. Nobody comes to see me, I don't come to see anybody, and I can just rest and overall slack off. There might be many Rec Rooms like this in the Cycles, but this one is mine.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _The Girl collapses into the sofa. This was the only time she could unwind in a while. The day had taken so much out of her; put many bad-tasting things in her mouth. She throws off her boots, tosses her cape somewhere near the popcorn machine, and just stares at the paper lantern at the ceiling. It looks like the sun. Maybe it was the sun. How long has it been since she saw the sun? Reached out to it, felt its warmth on her hand, like life?_

 _The Girl takes off one of her gloves and reaches out towards it with her hand. She then pulls it back, hides it behind another hand, as if in shame. No, it's not the same. Not the same at all._

 _She stands up and went to a stack of blu-rays next to the sofa. To others, they may have looked like ordinary blu-ray movies, popcorn fodder. But no. Those blu-rays, and by extension this Rec Room, these are all nothing more than pieces of reality bent by perception within the Cycles._

 _This place isn't just for entertainment. It is the Goddess' gift to the Girl. The gift of memories. The gift of the past. For she who controls the past controls the future, and she who controls the present controls the past._

 _The Girl takes out a single blu-ray disc, shining, no sticker or label attached, and loads it onto the player. She packs herself a fresh bag of popcorn, and a large root beer… no make that a root beer float. She likes that vanilla taste in her drinks._

 _Settled in her sofa, she uses the remote to dim the lights, before ordering the blu-ray to play._

 **Xxx^.^xxX** _  
_

"Balance means good and bad always have to zero themselves out, right? That's what you said. Or something like that. I think I understand what you mean now…"

Some redhead in the screen is sitting next to our protagonist. The way she looks is worried, shocked even. The Pringles she was eating seems to have all but disappeared from her mind. She was too focused on what was in our protagonist's hand.

A Soul Gem. A blue one, streaked with roots of darkness from the bottom to the tip.

"The good thing is I saved a lot of people," she continues. "But the bad thing is, I got angrier, and my heart filled up with anger and hate. It got so bad that I even hurt my best friend."

"Sayaka!" the redhead cried. "Your Soul Gem!"

"For all the happiness you wish for someone, somebody else gets cursed with equal misery. That's how it works for Magical Girls, and that's how it is for me…"

Tears. If anything was going to steal the frame of this shot, it is tears. Tears from our protagonists eyes. Tears of death, tears of despair.

"I was stupid… I was so stupid."

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _One of the features of the Rec Room is a bathroom at the far end. It featured a sink and a sparkling toilet, white and electronic, with even one of those bidets that were all the rage back then. It would've been hidden behind an automatic sliding door, had not it been bumping against the Girl's body, bent over at the toilet's mouth._

 _Sour Cream popcorn all over the sofa. A vanilla island of ice cream floats in a sea of root beer below it._

 _The Girl couldn't take it. Still couldn't take it. She wiped her mouth, before hitting the side of the toilet with her fist. She was mad at herself. Mad at the Girl on the television. Both Girls._

 _Why was she mad at herself if it was another Her she was supposed to be mad at? A simple answer: Because if everything was exactly the same as it was back then, it would've been the same result—the Her now would've been saying the same words, on that same bench, in that same life._

 _The Girl stands up, opens the lights and rinses her mouth with water from the sink. She focuses on cleaning up the mess. The popcorn she vacuums with a handheld, but when it comes to the root beer spill, she's at a loss. She had already gathered a small pile of tissues to pick up the scoop of ice cream when somebody comes through the door._

 _She looks over her shoulder, nervous. When she saw the figure standing there, for a moment she's afraid that the Redhead in the TV jumped out and came to life._

" _Sayaka."_

 _The Girl twists her head away, hurries up with cleaning up the mess, intending to hide all of this wasted food. "Yeah?"_

 _The Redhead. The same person on the television, here at the Cycles. She had already been here for some time. The Girl can't remember when exactly she had appeared in the Cycles, but it feels like she had been here forever._

" _What happened here?"_

" _Nothing." The Girl hid the clump of tissues in her hands, discreetly walking towards the trash bin._

" _You look shaken up."_

" _There's a 'Do Not Disturb' sign at the door."_

" _Am I disturbing you, then?"_

 _The Girl pauses, before throwing the clump away. "…No. No, you're not."_

 _The Redhead looks at the TV, paused at the moment the Girl is tearing up before her death. "So you were watching this."_

 _She still has her back turned on the redhead, still unable to face her. Still unable to talk._

" _You don't have to torture yourself."_

 _The Girl clutches her unworn glove with both hands, tightly, stopping herself from breaking down in tears._

" _You know what, come on," she says. "Let's go grab some coffee, Sayaka. Where can we get some?"_

"… _At my office," she offers._

" _Then your office it is. Come on, get out of there." The Redhead beckons her to come. "Don't worry about the mess; it'll clean itself up when you come back here. Come on now…"_

 _After a few moments, the Girl decides to just let it go and get out of here. Before she left the room, she gives the face on the TV one long stare. Her face twisted into a smirk, and she turned it off._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

Did anybody know that Coffee is the world's most common psychoactive drug?

"Did you know that coffee was discovered in Ethiopia?" Kyoko asked me.

I shrugged. How was I supposed to know? "You tell me."

"Apparently, some guy there was curious about the beans that made his goats hyper and jumpy," she said, before drinking half her cup. "So what does he do? Peels the beans, roasts them, puts them into a pot with water and boom, coffee."

When we got to my office, Momoe wasn't there anymore, but she forgot to lock my office up. What a forgetful girl. Oh well, she was totes useful for a lot of other things, so I guess I could let this pass.

I was sitting with both feet on my lazy-boy chair, hands all over a warm cup of joe. Koyko was walking around the room, touring it despite looking like she knew a lot about the place already. After finishing a cup, she poured another one for herself from the percolator, and then just stared out of my windows, looking at the afternoon sun go down in the distance.

"How did _you_ know that?" I asked.

"I just…" Kyoko looked up at the ceiling. "Know?"

"Then how am I going to be sure that's true if you just _know_ that coffee was first made in Ethiopia?"

"Just trust me on this," she says. "Besides, the coffee I made you was good, right? Trust words about coffee from the people who make good coffee."

If there was one thing true about anything, it was that. Kyoko did make good coffee. Just as good as Nagisa's, actually. "If anything, yeah, it is pretty good. You make it just like how my secretary does."

She paused for a while, probably digesting what she had heard. "Not too acidic, not too sour, doesn't taste like dirt. And it won't make you that jumpy either; this was a really dark roast, you know?"

"Funny. I always thought that the more you roast it, the stronger it gets."

"With some beans, the caffeine's actually lower in darker roasts."

"Looks like we've got us a coffee expert."

"Heh," Kyoko emptied her cup. "Thanks."

Kyoko… when did Kyoko come here? I can't remember exactly when she came up in the Cycles, but she was fighting Wraiths like everybody else when I left. Of course she was bound to end up here sooner or later. Since she came up here, we talked sometimes, hung out, drank coffee like this. It was always her who was finding me. I was busy with work, so I barely had any time to meet up. I felt guilty sometimes, actually. I was afraid that I wasn't spending that much time with her, considering that she was supposed to be my best friend and all.

"So, what's got our Chief rattled today, huh?" she asked.

"I was just a little…" I waved my hands a bit, trying to catch a memory somewhere. "Dizzy, I guess."

"You've been watching too many of those tapes."

"I gotta get acquainted with my past self, right?"

"Yeah, getting 'acquainted' with your past is one thing, but blowing chunks every time you do is another thing entirely. It's unhealthy, Sayaka."

While she was talking, I had been staring at my feet. Strange things, feet are. They look really weird on people. You got big toes, stubby feet fingers, little pinkies, all that stuff. The feet I have now look perfectly fine, but at the same time they're not. Is it because of the way they look, or some natural prejudice people have towards feet?

"Do you know the difference my left foot and my right foot?" I asked.

Kyoko looked at me, one brow raised. "Um… besides the facts that one goes to the left and the other to the right, I have no clue. What is it?"

"When I was seven, I was in a playground. I was playing there and, well, nothing really happened to my feet," I told her. "But I watched the tapes, and on the same day, at the same playground, with the same feet, the pinky on the left foot got hit with a rock. It bled so bad. My parents even told me that it might be cut off. Heh. They were joking, of course. Trying to scare me."

"But how would your foot get hit by a rock in the first place?"

I was still looking at my feet, trying to see whether I'll feel the same pain that I felt in those tapes. I tried hard, really hard, but no. I couldn't. It was still stuck in the realm of imagination. It didn't feel real enough.

I reclined on my lazy boy and looked up at the ceiling. "I was protecting Madoka from bullies."

There was a little pause, silence. "Oh." She understood. "I see."

"And that's the difference between my left foot, and my right foot."

"But you shouldn't spend too much of your time looking back at the past," she said. "Especially if it's not really your past. It's some other Sayaka's."

I looked at Kyoko. She was frowning, but her eyes seemed like the early stages of tears. She was really concerned about me.

"Why not look at the people in front of you?" She asked me. "The people in front of you right now?"

"It's… tough," I told her. "Besides, the people right in front of me… I can't even begin to talk about them."

 _She wants to talk about them. The Girl wants to complain, and tell all about how much of a drag her life was with all the people around her. But no one's there to complain to. At least the people in the past seemed more real, more alive._

"But what does that make me, then?" she asked.

Suddenly, it felt a little painful to face her with those eyes of hers at me. I averted my gaze, trying to dig up another excuse. This is what I'm good at, really. Digging up excuses for the people around me. "You're different. You know that."

"But sometimes, it just feels like I'm… bothering you, you know?"

I took a sip from my mug. "Come on, what are you talking about? You're not."

"You're busy all of the time," Kyoko told me. "And you're all business too. Training this, signing that, and whenever you're free you hole up in that little room of yours and stuff like earlier happens. I mean, come on. Live a little." For a moment, she chuckled at that. "Sorry if I was a little blunt, but I hope you get the point."

"Yeah, yeah…" I was already depressed.

Kyoko stared at me for a while, seeming to catch my bad mood. Whenever I was like that, my mood seemed to infect the whole room. I dunno why. I guess it's one of my many talents.

She stood up. "You know what, I think we should call it a night. You need sleep."

She never liked heavy moods. In fact, she's the first person who'll bolt the moment things go emotionally sour. Then again, I think it's my fault. Now I've depressed one of my friends. Terrific.

I couldn't stand up. My legs were too caught up with my guilt, refusing to move.

"See you tomorrow, I guess," she said, walking towards the door.

Midway though, she tripped, her face almost hitting the floor but luckily she spread out her arms. It was an obviously fake trip, where you already know it is because the person's trying too hard to make it look real. But Kyoko wasn't the type of person to do that. She never was. Why would she?

That was it. I stood up, and I reached a hand out to her to help her out. I felt her putting something in that hand, before thanking me.

She rubbed the back of her head, smiling sheepishly. "I've become such a klutz lately. Sorry."

"Yeah, it's weird," I told her, ignoring whatever was in my hand. "You were the more acrobatic between us two. Your joints are getting old."

"Joints are getting old, what the hell…" She made a chuckle. "Hey, that was a cheap shot."

I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of looking at her note. I knew Kyoko well, and she always had trouble expressing whatever she was feeling. But it was weird for her to write out a note. Usually, she would just grab you by the neck and shout it at your face. But then again, she was always acting tough. When it came to me, though, it was different. I was something else in her book.

"I guess… good night, then," she said with a light smile.

I nodded. "Yeah, good night."

"See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you."

When the door to my office closed, I didn't know what possessed me to check the note.

 _I love you._

"Hey, wait!"

She was already at the end of the hall when I called for her. In the darkness, I could only see her eyes in the light from my office. Her eyes were bright, glittered a little. Looking scared, maybe. She looked like a frightened little girl, lost in the rain. I was offering shelter.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "I was being a jerk."

She looked back at me. I could hear her voice echo in the hall. _"And?"_

"I was being stupid."

The head of her silhouette tilted to one side. _"And?"_

"I was being… you know what, whatever; I've read your note. Just come back here already."

As Kyoko was walking towards me, I was already locking up the office. The coffee mugs were on my table. Momoe-san would clean them tomorrow; shouldn't be too much to handle for her.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _As the Girl waited for the Redhead to return, she concerns herself with matters of importance such as if there was enough food in the fridge, if she left the room tidy that morning, if the bed was large enough. Of course there was still food. The rooms always cleaned themselves here in the Cycles. And the bed would always be big enough for the two of them._

 _The Girl wants to be with someone that night, as with a lot of other nights. She could never sleep alone, never be alone. Because even if she is alone, she always has someone else with her. She is sick of that person, so she wants to be with more pleasant, more interesting people._

 _That's what she always wanted, right? Being with more pleasant people?_

 _Before the Redhead could notice, the Girl makes a smirk._

 _Who is she kidding? Of course she could never be honest with herself. She was just trying to fill something up. In this body that didn't even have a Soul._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

While we did it, Kyoko called out to her mother for some reason.

We were sweating the whole time. In the end, I was already laid on top of her, panting as much as she was.

A quarter of an hour later, I had her make more coffee while I leaned on the bedpost, reading a clipboard for lessons tomorrow. I got bored though, and just stared outside my window. There were a lot of stars, just like what our grandparents said the old days looked like before the sixties. And there would be creeks with the chirping of crickets, woods the cries of cicadas, grassy fields full of the lights of fireflies. I was becoming quite poetic.

When she came back, we shared a mug in my blankets. I lowered myself to lie on her chest.

"It just feels so wrong," I told her. "When I tried talking to them earlier, it feels like I'mspeaking to them behind glass or something."

She nodded. "Yeah, recruits can be weird like that sometimes."

"Like, I'm speaking Japanese, they're speaking whatever… whatever language _they_ talk in. They still speak Japanese, really, but… anyway, the stories they tell me, they're all nuts. As in _nuts_. And they smile while they talk about them. It's like they… I dunno it's just—doesn't that creep you out sometimes?"

Kyoko put a finger to her chest. "You see me making friends around here?"

"Heh, yeah, you weren't really known for being friendly, I guess."

She sipped some coffee. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You're lucky. I have to put up with it every day. All smiles and stuff; bleaugh." I ask her to pass me the coffee, and I take a sip. God, I swear Kyoko makes great coffee. "There's this girl I work with, Momoe. I don't know how she does it. She's always so good with dealing with the new girls, all the girls. She has this smile that just… lights up a room, you know?"

"I think the key to your job is to keep smiling like her."

"To tell you the truth, it's disgusting how good she is."

"Eheh, yeah, um… maybe she's just really into it."

"I dunno, maybe. I don't really care." I look up at her. "Hey, how about your job? What did you get?"

"Oh, I'm… you know, just lazing around like everyone else."

"Psh."

"Hey, cut me some slack. The jobs here are hard. I can't pick out easy ones, you know? If you're not an Agent, you get to stack paper. Sometimes you get to be an Agent _and_ stack paper. I can kick ass, sure, but I'm tired of that. And I don't like doing paper jobs, you know?"

"Yeah, you're right." She was right. The jobs at the Cycles were hard. The hardest was being an Agent. I couldn't even begin to describe how hard being an Agent was. "If you've seen… the stuff I've seen with my own eyes, you'd really think that."

"The stuff you've seen, I've probably seen too," she said.

"No. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe." I shook my head. "Agents travel with Madoka sometimes, to really far-off places. The dark bits of the universe she hasn't reached yet. You don't know what's in there. That's the scary part about it."

"Madoka, huh… Yeah, what's up with her?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have breakfast with her all the time," Kyoko said. "I'm just asking, how's it going?"

Everybody always had breakfast with Madoka. It was a given when somebody was in the Cycles. "Don't you have breakfast with Madoka?"

"I…" She shook her head. "I go out early. It's a total bore at my room. I don't catch her."

Maybe Kyoko was afraid of something happening between me and Madoka. Yup, typical Kyoko. "Well, its total bore having breakfast with Madoka too sometimes. She just drops by, eats with me, and we shoot the crud or whatever. Then she leaves, and I go to work. That's pretty much it."

"What do you talk about?"

"You know, she's my best friend, so… usual stuff. Like, what we do in school, or… _did_ rather."

"I see. So what's that look on your face?"

I looked up at her. "What look?"

"That look."

I tried looking at the mirror opposite my bed to see the look Kyoko was talking about. While I was distracted, she took the coffee from me and took a sip for herself.

"Hey!"

"Always be on your guard." And after a few moments with the coffee in her mouth, she stuck her tongue out. "Ew, its gone cold."

I crossed my arms. "Heh. Serves you right."

She put the coffee on the night stand, giving it a glare before coming back to me. "Anyway, is she bothering you somehow?"

She had to ask it. She just _had_ to ask it. Terrific. "…Yeah, sort of."

"And why's that?"

"Because I feel that I can't… be honest with her on things. Like, whenever she's around, I _have_ to keep talking about pleasant stuff because I _have_ to. I don't know if I'm making sense; am I?"

"Kind of."

"It's hard to explain; I know. I'm just bothered by… whenever I see her; I just don't like the idea that she's everywhere at once."

Kyoko draped her arm across my midriff. "What, you're afraid that she's peeping on us right now?"

For a moment, I thought if that was the case. Nah. "No, not that, silly. She won't do something like that. She's too much of a nice girl."

"Then what's the worry?"

"She's everywhere at once, like God," I told her. "So like God, she has to be friends with everybody, right?"

She nodded. "Right."

"But then she comes around, tells me I was her best friend. And I was like, I don't even know you. Where the heck did you come from? Some alternate universe or whatever and I was friends with her there. And then, I buy into all of it and like, okay, here are your complimentary tapes. Please enjoy. I watch all of them… most of them, rather, and I bought into the whole deal. So I should be getting something, right?"

"Yeah, you should."

"So where is it?"

"You tell me, Sayaka."

"I know it's really selfish to say this, but… I don't like sharing Madoka. I don't like sharing Madoka at all."

Kyoko was silent for a while. "Ah, I see," she said. "Well, hey. That's reality for you. She has to be everywhere all at once. Be with everybody. It's her job."

"Yeah, yeah, I understand."

"Well…" A smug grin appeared on her face. "At least you don't have to share me, right?"

Kyoko, always joking like this. That's why I always liked her when we were alive. "I guess you're right."

We stayed like spoons for a while, trying to share each other's warmth, cuddling in this awfully cold room. At that time, I was thinking of something.

"About the coffee," I said. "Will we _not_ fall asleep because we drank some?"

"Nah, don't worry about it. The coffee you got here is weak. It's even better at making people fall asleep than a nightcap."

"I dunno about that…"

"Just trust me on this," she told me. "Just close your eyes, and sleep."

I followed her, and soon I knew she was right. I was feeling sleepy.

"You know, Kyoko, I've… I've been a real jerk to you, haven't I?"

"Don't say that."

"The stuff I told you when we were alive… I can't believe that it's the same crap another me told you before."

"Forget it, Sayaka... That was over."

"I'm so sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"

I was meaning to tell her a few more things, but I had been dragged into the rabbit hole of sleep.

* * *

 _And so concludes Day 1... Three left._


	4. 2-0 2-1

**2-0**

I was dreaming. At least, it felt like a dream. Or my idea of how dreams should feel like.

It was about the time at the playground I talked to Kyoko about. That one where the pinky on my left foot bled.

I could only remember a few scant details. Afternoon. Sandbox. Clear sky. A few kids. I was making something in the sand. I don't remember what it is. I was just making it. Nobody was playing with me because nobody liked building things in the sand. Except this girl wearing a pink dress.

Of course that girl was Madoka.

When I saw her face, I woke up.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

" _I told you, don't touch me in the mornings."_

 _It was always like this. Not always, but rather most mornings it was always like this._

 _The Girl opened her eyes, looked at the naked back sitting at the edge of her bed. A girl was putting on clothes, the Redhead. When she saw her in the first few waking hours of her day, the Girl reached out to her, to see if she was real._

 _The Redhead, sensing the Girl's fingers slide down the skin of her back, squirmed._

" _Don't… don't do that."_

" _Why?" the Girl asked. Why was she getting fussy?_

" _I… I get sensitive."_

 _Usually, that was what ended the conversation._

 _The Girl would watch the Redhead put on her clothes, dust herself, tie that long mane of crimson into a tidy ponytail. She would stand at the door for a while, looking at the Girl, as if she didn't want to leave her. But it was too early in the morning. The Redhead had to leave, for the Girl was going to have breakfast with the Goddess._

" _Remember, keep smiling," the Redhead told her._

" _I will," the Girl said._

 _When she left, the Girl wished that her friend could stay a little longer. She found that everything was boring again, and fell into sleep. Just a few more hours before breakfast with the Goddess._

 **2-1**

Today, we were going to have French Toast with Café au Lait. A fresh loaf of bread and lots of eggs were in the fridge that morning, so why not?

French Toast isn't really that complicated to make. Mix eggs with milk, vanilla extract, and sugar. Damp bread slices in the resulting mixture. Heat on pan until golden. Serve with cheese, maple syrup, cinnamon, all three if you want.

The Café au Lait was instant, unfortunately. Comes in sachets. Heat water, pour over contents in a mug. Stir and drink. It was cheap, but that's fine. Madoka didn't seem to complain at all.

She was very beautiful in her new dress: It was now a pink one with white ribbons. Her hair was styled in a bun, just like how she would in her mornings when she still existed. Like what she told me some time ago, but I can't remember when.

"So Sayaka-chan, how was your day?" she asked.

"It was…" I made a little wavy motion with my hand. "Ehm, so-and-so."

Madoka was worried. "Huh? Why?"

"Ah, nothing much. I just feel like this sometimes, but it'll pass." I knifed a bit of my toast and took a bite. "Other things aside, it was pretty good. Got to know the new recruits."

"Really? How were they?"

"Great. The new batch is really energetic this time," I told her. "Really top-class. I'll make great Agents out of them yet."

"I'll be counting on you for that," she said.

"Hah, of course!"

We were silent for a while. I was almost finished with half of my toast.

"Hmm, Sayaka-chan, this coffee is pretty good," she said, holding up a cup.

"Is it? That's just instant coffee."

She looked at me, not understanding. "Instant coffee?"

Apparently, she didn't know what instant coffee was. That was fine. I was always here to help her out anyway. "Yeah, there are two types of coffee. One's where they use beans and the other's where they just pour them out of sachets."

"Wow, I never figured there would actually be something like that. I thought that you had to get the machine where you pour all the beans in to get some, but you can actually have coffee with just a sachet. I see…"

"Don't you usually drink coffee, Madoka-chan?"

She made an awkward smile. "It's too bitter for me, really." But then she looked up as if to take back what she said. "But this one's good, though. It's sweet. Did you put sugar in this?"

"Yeah, lot's of sugar, yeah."

We were nearing the end of our polite catch-and-toss. I had to think of something.

"So, Madoka-chan," I began. "How did _your_ day go?"

She put a finger near her lips, wondering of what to say. "It's been…" After a few moments of effort, she dropped her elbows with a sigh. "Terrible."

I could tell she wanted to talk about it for some time now. But Madoka on a terrible day? This was something new. For the first time that morning, I was actually interested. "Huh? What happened?"

"It's been terrible for… everybody on Earth. Magical Girls are being overrun by Wraiths. That's why you've been having quite the traffic for recruitment."

It was true. For the last week, there had been an odd increase in residents here in the Cycles. Kind of like a population boom. Of course, that translated into more recruits for Cycles Agents.

But population booms like this were bad. It meant that there were a ton of girls dying back on the ground.

"The Wraiths are becoming too powerful," she said. "Too many of them spawn on the planet. For every one Wraith that dies, five come out to replace it.

I whistled. "Woah, that's a lot, isn't it?"

"I think it's because people on the world are too stressed. Wraiths are the manifestations of negative feelings made by humans. How many of them can grow out of a tiny amount of stress is really scary."

"Why can't we just go down there and smash them, then?" I thought of it for a while. Yeah, that would've been cool. It'd be like the heavens opening up, and thousands of us would fly down, _Ride of the Valkyries_ sounding off in the background.

Using a fork, Madoka played a little bit with her French Toast. "We can't."

"Well, why not?"

"Because… that's just how it works."

Like most things in this universe. Right.

She smiled at me. "Besides, you might fall asleep if I explain it, Sayaka-chan."

"Heeey, I can take an explanation or two sometimes," I told her. "Just make them simple."

"Whenever it comes to the rules of this universe… nothing is simple."

"Then make them simple. You're technically like God now or whatever. Why not?"

She took a sip of her coffee. "It doesn't work that way. And no, I'm not God. Even for someone like me, there are rules I just can't break. In fact, when you're where I am, you'll find that what you can do is actually… limited."

Not knowing what to say to that, I knifed up what remained of my toast into little bite-sized squares.

"You know, Sayaka-chan, I'm…" She paused, trying to find the right words to say. I've noticed that she always had trouble finding the right words lately. "I'm actually very glad that I get to talk with you like this."

"Hey, come on, Madoka-chan. It's nothing. I'm always here."

She had her hands clasped on the table, squeezing them together lightly. "It's just that I… I don't really have anybody to… talk about these things with."

"For reals, Madoka-chan? Come on, now! We just talked about really basic stuff. You can talk about that stuff with anybody. What's the matter with you?"

She was an omnipresent being that could be everywhere at once. She had the whole universe in her palm, her own audience. What's she worrying about?

"…you can't, actually."

"I'm sorry?"

"Erm… nothing."

"Madoka-chan, you've been acting like that since yesterday. Come on, cheer up. I haven't seen you like that ever since…" I tried pulling a name out of my mind. Luckily, I found one. "Tanhauser Gate."

The minute she heard those two words, Madoka crashed into the table, her head nearly missing her plate. "Fuwaaah, don't remind me…"

"Crap, I'm sorry." I would've hit myself on the head if I could. What happened there was a real fiasco. "But I just can't stand seeing you like that, you know?"

"I'm…" She sat up and looked down on her lap. "I'm sorry."

"There you go with that sorry again. You know, this is just like that time when we missed passing our macaroni sculpture in elementary school."

Madoka looked up at me, eyes seeming as if they found some sort of wonder. "You remember that?"

"Like, yeah." I had already gotten that far with the current set of blu-rays Madoka gave me. "I already had the glue and whatnot, but you forgot to bring the macaroni. Ring any bells for you?"

"And I had papa leave Tatsu at the day care so he could buy us a new box of macaroni."

"Yeah, that was a little bit of a waste. But hey, he sure did make good macaroni and cheese with the one you left at home."

She chuckled. Good, she was a little happy now. "Yeah, I know, right? Papa really liked making macaroni and cheese. It was really good."

"How many cheeses did he put in that?"

"I don't know… four, I think?"

"Woah, that's a lot of cheese."

"Papa's pretty serious about cheese. He has them all vacuum-packed in plastic bags inside our fridge. So when he cooks something then he knows that he has the right kind of cheese."

"Yeah, your dad was a really awesome cook…" I began.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _It was a miracle that the Girl was able to find something to talk about. That morning, the game was Grasping Straws. She would grasp topics from the back of her mind, and the Goddess would discuss them._

 _It had always been like this._

 _Again, it had always been like this._

 _The Girl was getting tired of it. Talking about memories, memories that weren't really hers. She could remember her life as a sort of picture book, with all the pictures from the highlights of her existence. Any new people or places, they were all new pictures added in. But the Goddess wasn't simply a part of the picture book, not just an extra page. No, she was grafted onto the picture book, maybe even the onto the book's spine. She was supposed to be totally ingrained into every single picture of the Girl's life._

 _If you took a picture of the Girl from her childhood, you would have her standing in front of Mitakihara Middle School just by herself, maybe with that Green-haired girl. But if the Goddess was supposed to be there, then she would have to be next to the Girl, with an arm over the Girl's shoulder. She could not be grafted in; it would destroy the picture. Forcefully grafted in, with duct tape or superglue or Adobe Photoshop, it would look fake. A new picture would have to be taken, with the Girl and the Goddess posing in front of a camera. A large-scale photo shoot that rivaled the ones for magazine covers. Professional photographers, an army of make-up artists, blazing heat lamps behind mirrors. So artificial, so unnatural, so fake._

 _New pictures. Worked shoots. Forced identities and forced memories and forced friendships._

 _While she was talking about cheeses and cooking, cooking and cheese, she could not help but feel how ridiculous it all was._

 _Of course, she wouldn't confess it to herself. The Girl was not that brave enough._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

We ended breakfast on a high note, with Madoka all cheered up with that talk about her family as she left my room. I saw her out, of course. Exchanged goodbyes, wished each other well, and the rest of those pleasantries, rituals.

But before she got out the door, she turned around and told me something. "Um, Sayaka-chan. There's something I'd like to tell you."

"Yeah, shoot."

"About what you were saying earlier, about… going down to Earth," she said. "I think we'll do something like that in the future."

I was genuinely surprised by all this. "Really?"

"Yes, but it's smaller than you would think… just a few of us, actually."

"Why are we going, then? Is it some sort of big-ass Witch hiding in the Earth's core, or Global Warming, or what?"

Madoka suddenly looked wary to talk. She had made a mistake. She shouldn't have told me that. She wasn't letting it on, but the way her eyes shifted from left to right betrayed her. What was she hiding?

As a saving throw, probably noticing that I noticed, she shook her head. "I'm still working out the details. But we'll talk about them later once I've… confirmed some things. Don't worry, we'll talk about it. Soon. I just wanted you to know."

"Well, uh… thanks."

Madoka smiled at me, and turned her back to leave. But she stopped herself midway and looked at me again. The look on her face was like yesterday's, when she asked me that question at the table.

"Sayaka-chan, are you… are you happy here?"

What was with her? "That's like, the second time you asked me that. Of course I am. What gives?"

When she heard my answer, she looked like she didn't know what to do with herself. Her face scrunched up a little, kind of like a wince, but it wasn't at the same time. It was hard to describe; Madoka was the only person I knew who could make that sort of face. If anything, she must've felt flustered.

"I'm… I'm sorry if I made things awkward."

"Hey, don't say that, Madoka-chan. You didn't make things awkward."

"…See you tomorrow."

I nodded. "Um, yeah. See you tomorrow."

"Thanks for the breakfast."

"It was nothing; you're welcome."

She stared at the air next to me before tilting her head a little forward. "Bye."

I raised my hand a little to make a wave of sorts. "Yeah, bye."

When I closed the door, I leaned on it, listening to her steps. There weren't any. I opened the door again, and she wasn't there anymore. Well, you could always teleport, I guess.

Immediately, I thought of how strange Madoka was acting the whole morning. Must've been the stress. Having to manage the Cycles, on top of picking up girls and killing Witches, it must really take a lot out of a person.

And a person like Madoka, I was quite surprised at how strong she was to take all of it and manage to keep a grin on her face. I wonder, managing all those copies of herself, how could she deal with that? Of course she can't be all of those Madokas at once, so do they have their own personalities? What happens if one Madoka argues with one another? Does some other Madoka step up and settle them down? Is there some sort of like, 'Boss' Madoka or something that settles disputes between them? Of course, Boss-Madoka would be the real Madoka, so does she have some sort of middle-management? Like, Madoka-Lieutenants? Of course, there would be Madoka-Grunts too, so there's some sort of Chain of Command between them. That sounds pretty complicated if you're just managing yourself, though. It's a wonder how she hasn't lost it yet.

I thought that Madoka needed some R&R, a quick period of 'disconnecting', so to speak. I didn't work out the details that much, but I was thinking of something like going out for a quick drink just so she could loosen up a little. I could even bring Kyoko along. Yeah, that would be a good idea. Maybe I should talk to Kyoko sometime today, like after work. Where was her room again? I couldn't remember; I would just ask Momoe where it was. She knew where everything was in the Cycles.

The dishes were already washed, the fridge clear, the bed made. I did some sweeping in my room, and I found some long strands of pink hair on the floor. Terrific. Madoka was so stressed-out that her hair was falling off. While I was dressing up for work, I kept thinking of good drinking spots.

"Seriously, that girl needs to chill out," I muttered, putting on my hairpin.

I couldn't think of any good drinking spots. I'll just ask Momoe for those too.


	5. 2-2

**2-2**

I got to work a little earlier than usual so I could jog up on more of the paperwork that got backlogged yesterday. Mostly Bio-Data forms from the new recruits, nothing really special. Once I took care of that, I found that the coffee mugs I left here last night hadn't been cleaned. So much for self-cleaning rooms. In a place like the Cycles, you would think that things made out of magic ought to clean themselves.

I had the feeling that the day was going to be a drag. Madoka was right; it was always the little things that set you off.

There was another thing that pulling at the back of my head. I couldn't exactly think of what.

I was sitting barefoot on my lazy-boy chair when the door to my office opened.

"Momoe-san, you're late," I told her. "And you forgot to lock up the office yesterday, too."

Momoe was in a little hurry; she had a huge backpack of papers, plus two large envelopes under her armpits. Of course, I stood up and helped with her load.

"Sorry, Miki-san," she said, "I just had to go home. There were things I had to handle."

"Yeah, and looks like you have a lot more paperwork there." I stacked them on the coffee table and helped her with the backpack. It was heavy, like she brought her whole house in it. "I'll just get all of these on the table… there we go. Um, Momoe-san, will you please—those coffee mugs over there, will you please clean them up?"

She nodded. "Will do, Miki-san."

"Yeah, thank you. What time will those recruits come around?"

"Around nine."

It was a quarter before eight. "Okay, looks like we got a chance to get some work done before them. Uh, Momoe-san, do you know where my stamp is? I've been looking for it all morning."

She was carefully soaping the mugs at the sink. "Which one?"

"The one for approvals."

"It's under your desk with the others."

"I looked; it wasn't there," I told her. I remembered checking that drawer twice. No approval stamp.

"Please look there again, Miki-san, you might have just missed it."

I was already done organizing the envelopes. "I told you, it wasn't there."

She was rinsing the mugs. "Please look again, just to make sure."

"Alright, alright, I'll check…" What a drag. I walked to my drawer and opened it. "Told you, it's not here."

"Are you sure?"

"There were three stamps here. Approved, Denied and Reason for Denial. The green stamp's not here."

Momoe took a moment to wipe the mugs dry and seemed to take a little breather before nodding. "Okay, I'll check." She walked over to where I was and put her hand in the drawer, feeling deeply with a tongue stuck out to the side. After a few moments, she pulled her hand out and lo and behold…

I sigh. "I… suck."

She put a little chapstick-sized stamp next to the papers I was supposed to sign. "That's okay, Miki-san; it was really small and it was deep inside the drawer. It just got mixed up with a lot of other things, that's all."

"Madoka would've already fired me if it weren't for you; you're amazing," I told her. And I meant it.

Momoe was really glad when she heard me say that. She even blushed. "Th-Thank you, Miki-san…"

"Hah, it's nothing, don't worry. But you're just super. For reals." I picked up the stamp and got back on my chair with a fresh set of docs for approval. "Say, Momoe-san, can you make us some coffee before we start work on these papers?"

"Um, uh… please wait." She made a little sidestep to the kitchenette, and she checked the percolator, saying that the grounds inside were already bad. When she checked the cupboards for new coffee grounds, her face went white. "Um, Miki-san, I think we're out of coffee."

I was happily stamping away some documents, finally reunited with my stamp. "Funny, I thought you said that we're out of coffee."

She slowly turned her head towards me. "I… did?"

For some reason, I found that I couldn't breathe for a few moments. I thought I was coffee suffocating, until I finally regained coffee composure and laid my coffee hands on the desk. "Did you… fill out the papers to request more?"

"Yes, Miki-san, I did coffee yesterday," she said. "But Logistics coffee said that coffee coffee coffee take one day coffee coffee."

"Did you just… say it would take one day?"

"Until coffee coffee afternoon, to be precise coffee."

"Then… what do we _do_ have there?"

Momoe opened the cupboards again, looking for coffee. "Well, there's… there's coffee."

"Did you just say coffee?"

She shook my head and took out a box of something with 'Lipton' written all over it. "No, I said tea."

Tea? "Tea?"

"You know, tea." She took other boxes out. "Chamomile, oolong, jasmine, you know, crumpets and things."

"Why do we have that there?"

"I think the Logistics Department accidentally stocked us with it."

I was wondering if we could just return the tea to exchange for coffee on that very same day, but instead I asked the more important question. "…does it have caffeine?"

She nodded. "Of course it does."

"Make some."

"Understood." She boiled some water in the microwave, and then asked me a question. "Miki-san, what tea do you want? We have Green Tea, Black Tea, lots of scented tea… Oooh, let's try this; Do you want Chamomile or Jasmine?"

"Whichever has more caffeine."

"I think they have the same caffeine content."

"Then…" I really gave a lot of effort in thinking of what I wanted to drink for some reason. "Give me Jasmine. It sounds better."

"Jasmine it is. Give me a few moments, Miki-san."

When Momoe was done with the tea, it wasn't really half-bad. It was really smooth. Had a sort of grassy taste at first, like herbs and stuff, but it was nice. The only tea I had drunk before this was green tea I'd make whenever I was hungry for some _ochazuke._ Very nice. Who'd know that my secretary was also good at making tea?

Why did tea always have to be so… so _bland_ , though…?

Caffeine fill sated, we worked on the papers, signing them again, the usual process. I asked Momoe what I had been meaning to ask her all morning. About where I could find someplace for us to drink, to which she was able to give me at least four different spots, ranging from some pretty high-class places to just cozy little hole-in-the-wall bars. She sounded pretty ecstatic giving me this information, and I asked her if she usually drank out. During the whole hour after she said yes, I thought about how I could afford to pay drinks for four people without breaking my wallet for that week.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

By mercy of Madoka, we were able to finish all of the paperwork almost a quarter to nine. I was stunned; I never saw my desk being so clean before. It was miraculous how a stamp could make signing things faster. When we were done, I gave Momoe a good pat on the back, and we received word that the recruits had shown up.

A day before, we had already decided to cut the class in half, two classes with both rookies and those who had already been training before. It was so the rookies could hopefully learn from their upperclassmen—or upperclasswomen, if that's a word. I was going to handle Class A, while Momoe would handle Class B. Nothing was going to happen much today. Besides from role call, we would just some do some Agent Orientation, followed by setting basic expectations for the training. Of course it was all just for the benefit of the rookies; good thing that the the veterans were okay with it.

It wasn't going to be tough. I had done a number of these before; really easy. You just have to stand up, talk about what you know, get along with everybody. And like I said, everybody was very nice and understanding. It was exactly like being Miss Saotome, only without talking about failed relationships at the start of each class.

When I entered the classroom, everybody was already there, waiting. The classrooms were designed to look like the classroom in Mitakihara Middle School, complete with the digital whiteboard and folding chairs. The works. Whenever I came in here, I always felt nostalgic for those old days.

"Hi there guys, good morning," I told them. "How are you?"

After I confirmed that everybody was complete, I talked all about the basics of being a Cycles Agent. An Agent had one job and one job only: to accompany Madoka whenever she went to far-off star systems, even in other dimensions. Why did we have to accompany Madoka? Simple. Because even though she wished that she could destroy each and every witch in the past, present, and future, nobody ever talked about what form they would take or what she had to do in order to destroy them... No, that's not exactly it. How do I explain this?

Okay, one more time.

You see, in the universe there is the law of balance. Equilibrium. That all forces will have to equal out to zero. Hope and Despair, Black and White, Good and Evil, all zero. If something rises, an opposing force will have to rise against it with at least the same magnitude to achieve balance. A Magical Girl rises, a Witch also rises sooner or later to maintain the balance. Madoka's wish did not allow that; that's why she became a God. Her wish overcame the laws of Physics. But, and that's a big _but_ , the universe continually demands balance to be met or else there will be chaos. What kind of chaos? We didn't know. But we were certainly not willing to find out.

Witches still lived, still rose. The Wraiths on Earth? They were just the fallout from the great big spill of despair that was Witches. But those Witches… if they weren't supposed to exist, where _would_ they exist, then? Was there some special place in reality where they continue to live unharassed by Madoka's influence?

Still don't get it? Sorry, okay, let me…

Okay, take three.

Witches lived. But Madoka wished for these Witches to be destroyed before they were born. In the past, present or the future. Why was that? If Madoka absorbed a Soul Gem before it hatched into a Witch, then shouldn't be a Witch in the first place because the Grief Seed wouldn't come out. Where did _these_ Witches come from?

Simple. They came from Madoka.

Or, rather, they _are_ Madoka. Thousands of them, with Grief Seeds the size of gumballs, comets, planets, whole star systems.

You see, like what I said earlier, nobody was really clear on what it would take to destroy all of the Witches before they were born. In the past, the present or the future. Nobody ever said anything about the cost of it either. Physically, emotionally or mentally. Costs for all those involved, Madoka especially.

Did you get all of that? I didn't think you would. At least the general gist, maybe? A concept like this can never be encompassed in just a few words, and not one person can ever relate it so accurately. Keeping it as simple as this is me doing you all a sort of favor, even if keeping it as simple as this keeps out a few important bits… or makes things sound a little more complicated than they should.

When we were done with the orientation, I asked if anybody had questions.

"What are the Witches?"

Nothing like the Wraiths you fought with, I can tell you that.

"What makes a good Agent?"

Someone who can fight hard and think on her feet.

"Can Madoka-san beat them all?"

We wouldn't be here if she could.

"Being an Agent sounds cool! I bet you went on all sorts of cool adventures!"

Well… yeah, we did quite a few cool things… yeah.

"I want to hear about all the action you guys did! Tell us some stories."

Stories, huh?

I thought for a while about that, then shook my head. "Nah, I didn't see that much action myself. Just got to a few star systems here and there, but it's all the same wherever you go."

The whole class went 'Awww,' after hearing my objection. I couldn't blame them. I was being a killjoy for some reason, but I couldn't pin down what it was. All I knew was I was feeling that warmth above my ear again.

 _The Girl couldn't tell them. She was afraid to tell them._

I told the girls that I just had to go to the ladies room for a while, and that they should behave.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _In the bathroom, the sink overflows with water. She washes her face, looks at herself in the mirror. She still has the same hairpin, the same round eyes, the same lips. But that is what another would see. With her own eyes, the Girl sees death, despair, suffering in that mirror. All those battles, all the lives lost, all the horrors she had seen playing out in a monochromatic waltz, an old soundless newsreel._

 _But of course, those memories had nothing on the most horrible thing she had ever seen: her own reflection._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

When I came back to class, they were all behaved. Like perfect kindergarteners obediently waiting for their teacher. I love recruits for that. We were now going to asses expectations. I would stand in front, and ask the rookies what they expected in the training and in being an agent overall.

"I think it's going to be… hard, but it's gonna be worth it! On being an Agent, it's the coolest job here so I guess it's going to be exciting."

"It's pretty awesome, being able to fight with Madoka-san. Of course the training will be hard, but we need that. We'll have to train hard so we can be the best Agents in the Cycles!"

"Since its Sayaka-san who's going to train us, of course it's going to be worth it. You're the best we've ever had here; we're lucky to have you as our teacher. Please take care of us!"

"I've always wanted to fight something bigger than Wraiths. I'll do it because someone needs to. I just can't wait to become a real Agent!"

"Well, I'm glad that all of you are pretty enthusiastic about the whole thing," and I meant it. "You'll need that because being a Cycles Agent isn't all adventure and fighting. Most of the time, we're doing paperwork to keep this place running. But when Madoka calls us—and she will call us, I can tell you that—that's when you'll get your first taste of what it's really like to be an Agent. I'll want to hear what you'll have to say about the job after then. But of course, we'll still go through training, and this early we'll really see who has what it takes to be an Agent. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

I smiled. "Perfect. Okay, well, we already discussed the stuff we needed to talk about. So by tomorrow we'll be discussing unit assignments, Agent Theories and the Cycles Ethos. I suggest that you all do a bit of reading for that, because if we're lucky and we finish classroom discussion early, we might be able to get the rookies up to catch up with the original students in training. That means we'll spend some time out there training instead of in here, reading books. How's that sound for you girls?"

Of course the girls were happy about it, especially the original students since they could finally go on with their training that's been stalled for over two days now. Classes ended at 1 in the afternoon, so that meant I had the rest of it as vacant time. I went back to my office, looking for Momoe so I could see my schedule for that day, but she wasn't there. I guessed that she was still handling some work for Class B, so I took the liberty of taking my schedule book from her desk.

I thought I could fly when I saw what was inside. R&R the whole afternoon. A whole afternoon just for myself like yesterday. Perfect.

When I returned the schedule book, I noticed how disorganized Momoe's desk was. Ballpens all scattered on the surface, some document envelopes, folders, binders and all that stacked around. That heavy bag she was carrying was on her office chair, looking like some sort of big red blob sitting quite comfortably. I wondered what she brought in with that thing; probably more papers. I knew she was a little swamped with work, but she could at least try to make it all look organized.

Come to think of it, she did look rather listless that morning. Like Madoka, she always seemed to have of stuff in mind. Do all pinkettes tend to get super-stressed or what?

Before I left the office, it was settled; I had to bring both of them out on a drink.


	6. 2-3

**2-3**

When I arrived at the Rec Room though, Momoe was there for some reason, scrubbing the carpet where the rootbeer float spilled yesterday with a rag and some soap.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not sounding mean or anything. Just surprised.

 _But the Girl didn't really like the idea of other people inside private places like this._

"I noticed that there was this big stain all over the carpet, so I figured I might as well clean it."

I noticed that the popcorn machine was open, with a bag of fresh kernels ready to be inserted. There was a little cart next to the fridge, all of them full of soda.

"I was actually restocking," she said. "The request we submitted this morning?"

So they had already delivered what we asked for. I breathed a sigh of relief. But there was still something strange. "I don't remember requesting for my Rec Room, though."

Momoe finished wiping the rootbear off the carpet, now a patch of soapy suds. She wiped it off again with another rag, and then went to the sink. She then washed her own tiny hands. I observed those hands, how her thin fingers moved in to lathe the soap on her palms. Even when she was already drying her hands, I couldn't help but think of how fragile they were, how they could break so easily like the rest of their owner. Those hands looked like they belonged to a fine china doll. Momoe looked like a fine china doll. So delicate, so cute.

She then went on to finish filling the popcorn machine. When she emptied the kernel bag into it, Momoe put the lid back on top and turned it on. Soon, little white puffs of corn came popping out of the pot. "I… filled out a request form for you," she offered, probably as a sort of explanation.

"And why did you do that? I could've submitted my own request."

"You haven't submitted a request for this room in a week, so I decided to save you the hassle and… have it all processed in my free time."

Momoe was right about one thing: submitting a request would've been a drag. There would be a form you would fill out, and it would take a whole day before you got what you were asking for. Not that it was too boring for me to handle it myself, though. Momoe was just that considerate. I was really thankful for having a secretary like her. "Well, thanks. I appreciate that, Momoe-san."

She smiled before pushing her cart to the fridge. "Oh, you're welcome Miki-san. I just know that you have other things to handle. The little things, I'll take care of them for you."

"You know, you always work so hard even after hours. Really impressive."

I thought for a bit, and then went to her to help with stocking the fridge with soda.

"Let me help you with that."

She nodded. "Thanks."

There was a whole box full of sodas, and we were pretty quick in stocking the bottles. While we were doing so, though, Momoe wanted to say something.

"Um… Miki-san."

"Hm? Yeah?"

"Do you… do you have any plans?"

"Plans? What do you mean?"

"Erm… plans for tonight. As in, later?"

I looked at her. "Why are you asking?"

When her eyes met mine, she evaded them, pinning her vision to her Mary Janes. "Because… with that question you asked me earlier. About nice places to drink, I mean…"

Of course she'd ask I had plans; I was practically asking for places to have a good time at. She wanted to get in on it because working was such a drag. I was planning the drink-out to be a surprise, but what the hell. I guessed I could let Momoe in on it, considering that she might be able to even help me in finding even better places to drink at, with cheap prices for a group of people.

"Actually, you know… Ah, you caught me," I told her. "Yeah, I actually have plans. Or have a plan, rather. I'm going to take Madoka out drinking, and I was thinking of brining you and some other friends along."

When she heard that, Nagisa's eyes widened, and then she bowed her head. "O-Oh, I… I see."

"What, did you want some sort of inter-department drinking party? You, me, the trainees? Something like that?"

She put the last bottle of soda into the fridge. "Um… no, it's not really that. It's just that I…"

"I think I got what you mean." And I really did. I knew Momoe somewhat, and working with her, I've always noticed something whenever she talked with other people, especially with superiors like me. I hoped I was right. "You're nervous because we're gonna drink with Madoka, right? Don't worry about her; she's cool to be with. The other guys too."

She shook her head. "No, no, it's not about Kaname-san… or, or… your friends, maybe, but…"

I closed the fridge. "What, my friends? Don't worry about them; they're nice. It's not as if I go along with bad girls or anything. You'll be shocked at how nice they are, I'll tell you."

"No, I'm not worried about them at all. I'm just… curious about your friends."

"Curious about my friends? What's there to be curious about them?"

"Well… you know, that girl…"

"What girl?"

"Um… Kyoko, I think her name was?"

I was becoming a bit curious. "And how did you know Kyoko?"

"Let's just say that I have this way of knowing where everything is in the Cycles."

This part I really thought hard about. It wasn't a surprise that Momoe would know about Kyoko, but I was thinking of why she brought her up. I thought of some possible reasons, but if you thought of the simplest one, it could be related to Momoe working overtime yesterday and forgetting to lock up when she supposedly left.

Oh crud.

"Momoe-san, did you happen to be at the office around six yesterday?"

She nodded, suddenly ecstatic. "Yes."

I knew it.

"…Did you see us?" I asked.

Momoe only stared at me, apparently playing dumb.

"It's not what you think it was." Suddenly, my tube was becoming a little warm, and the insides of my gloves were wet. "She's just a friend of mine. You know, even if I invited her into the office, it was just a little um… conversation, you know? She was just passing by." I can't believe how horrible I was as a liar.

She nodded again, as if taking a mental note of my words. "Friends, huh…?"

Momoe wasn't buying it. I hoped that my cheeks weren't flaring or anything. I would've ended up dying if they did. "Were you asking if I had plans tonight because… you wanted to talk about that?"

And she nodded one more time, this time with a slight smile. "Yes."

Oh god, don't tell me she wants to discuss about bringing relations into the office. I completely understood how Momoe felt. How unsightly that would've been—seeing your own boss with a girl in your office late at night. I felt horrible. And to think, it's my secretary that's going to chew me out. How embarrassing would _that_ be…

Then again, better her than Madoka, I guess. I knew that she was my best friend, but I was too afraid of what God had to say about my faulty workplace ethic.

Still, I regretted asking Momoe about places to drink in the first place. I had nowhere to run. "Erm, okay… uh, let's see… Alright, we'll talk. I'll explain everything later. We'll go out, drink a little, talk about a few things. Set things straight, okay?" I sighed. "But I promise you now, nothing like that will happen at the office again, okay?"

Momoe crinkled her brows, thinking about it for a while. Of course she would think about it. Why wouldn't she? That was something about Momoe that I thought was amazing; I couldn't believe how business-minded she was. Although it was a little invasive, she must've thought that it was for the good of the office, overall.

 _But the Girl wished that the Secretary would get off her case._

After a few moments she nodded. "Um, okay."

"Perfect!" I told her one of the bars we talked about that morning. We couldn't go there immediately since it was the afternoon, though, and she still had the paperwork from our office to submit. So I told her to just come back to the Rec Room around six and we would just go there afterwards. She seemed to be pretty okay with the plan too, although I expected her to be a little bit angrier. Maybe she was just good at hiding it.

When she left with her cart, I made another sigh. I think sighing was the only thing I'd ever done this day.

Something else was in my mind now. The nausea. I'd been hit a few times again today. At class, and when Momoe left. It just creeps up on you, and you don't even notice it until _wham_ ; You're down for the count!. Very unsettling. I considered seeing somebody about it, but in the end I assumed that it was just stress. Just like how Madoka was stressed. Just like Momoe.

I wanted to talk with somebody, anybody. I wanted to talk with Kyoko again, but I didn't want to interrupt her when we just saw each other yesterday.

It was probably just stress. I shouldn't worry too much.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _The Girl wants to tell her Secretary to have some consideration for the privacy of others. She hated it whenever somebody came into her room without permission. The Secretary didn't even bring the right drinks; the Girl drank root beer, not Royal Crown Cola._

 _Oh well._

 _Yesterday's attempt to make a connection was a failure. She has to try another set of tapes. Tapes that hurt her less. Tapes she would hate less. Or rather, put her through self-hatred less. They are all about people who gave her the inspiration to move forward. People she loved, idolized even. Despite coming from another life, the words inside them still carried weight._

 _Today, she drops the idea of eating food while watching these tapes. She feared wasting them._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

"Hey, Mami… I, I was wondering. If you make a wish, does it have to be for yourself?"

The Mentor turned to her. "Huh?"

Our Protagonist is nervous. She doesn't want her Mentor to see through the thin veil of her question, find her true objective. But it is hard; she averts her eyes, glues them to the sidewalk, then the night sky, struggling to rein in her own anxiety. "Let's say that—and this is an example, okay? Say there was someone who was having a way worse time than I was. Would it be bad if I used my wish to help him out?" Those last few words our Protagonist had hurried, almost mumbled, afraid of letting the golden name slip out.

" _Are you talking about Kyosuke?"_ asks Mephistopheles, sitting atop the Goddess' shoulder.

So much for letting it slip out. "It's an example!" she defends herself with, a mix of shame and a slight twinge of embarrassment. "I'm not talking about anyone!"

" _You can wish for whatever you want_ ," he says. _"There's no rule that says that you have to be the one to benefit from it. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened."_

"Actually, that may not be the best idea…"

Our Protagonist looks back at the Mentor, anxious about what she has to say. Inside, she knows that it is going to be some sort of sermon, so she braces herself, fearing the sting of her words.

"If you use your wish to grant someone else's," she starts, "you should be careful to know exactly why you're doing it. Are you really doing it for someone else's benefit, or the opposite?"

The Girl's chest tightened.

 _She knows…_

The Mentor looks at her with both eyes. "You're doing it for that person's everlasting gratitude."

This was it. Our Protagonist's dreams of saving her lover were being crushed by reality again. "Mami…"

"The motive behind a wish is what matters most, you know?"

"That's kind of harsh. I was just asking..."

 _She just wants to know if anyone would approve of it._

"I am sorry. But I had to say it now before it was too late."

 _Who ever made her so high-and-mighty to say that?_

"If you're not one-hundred percent sure why you're doing it, you'll most definitely regret it later."

 _The Girl would never regret it; it would be the best thing she had done for anybody in her life._

Our Protagonist's eyes sparkle for a few moments, but she decides to put it aside and make a smile. "I guess you're right," she said. "Maybe I was being a little naive there. Sorry."

"That's okay." Another smile, from her Mentor this time. "It's not something you would rush into."

" _As far as I'm concerned, the sooner you decide, the better,"_ according to Mephistopheles.

"Oh please. Haven't you heard?" The Mentor asked him with a flourish. "Girls don't like pushy boys."

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _The Girl sits on the sofa, melancholia her closest companion as she watches clip by clip of the life that was her Mentor. She has no words. Her Mentor was just phenomenal. Both in this life and the other. She closes her eyes, listening to the voices on the screen, remembering scenes from the past—both pasts, with the same Paragon to look up to._

 _If the Girl remembers correctly, her Mentor was a soft-spoken lady. Elegant, righteous, clearly knew what the difference was between right or wrong. Not only that, she was capable, skilled and always gave everything she did her all. Was there anybody alive who could ever match up to her? In the past where she fought Wraiths, the Girl remembers her as a leader who could coolly think of a plan under fire and make sure that everyone would come out alive._

 _The Girl has nothing to say about her but how much she loved her Mentor, how much she wanted to be like her. How much she envied her._

 _As the clips progressed onscreen, showing her Mentor's prowess, she asked herself: what did the Girl ever do wrong?_

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

I was in the bathroom when it happened.

I heard someone open the door to the Rec Room, before a gasp. Sitting on the toilet, of course I was surprised. I froze, worrying if it was someone suspicious. So after I flushed, I took out a cutlass, before opening the door.

A girl was standing agape in front of the TV. She wore a white blouse with a brown bodice, a green skirt, nice shoes. She wore a cap, underlined by blonde twintails.

On the screen was a scene where this large worm charged towards another girl, opened its mouth, ate her alive.

She was the girl on the screen. I couldn't believe it myself.

I lowered my sword. "Mami-san?"

She gasped, before turning towards me. Tears were flowing down both her cheeks.

I wasn't surprised. Of course she would cry.

For a few moments, we didn't speak. Neither of us could. Was it shock? Was it happiness? Maybe we just didn't have anything to say to each other. Maybe it was all of the above. The tears still flowed. She looked lost, helpless. Her mouth shook, wanting to tell me something. At that moment, I was thinking that she always wanted to tell me something, but I never listened. I wasn't about to let that happen today, because this time I understood what she felt.

I stepped forward, wrapped both of my arms around her, and she broke down then and there.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

I was able to calm her down after a while. Thank Madoka.

We were still in the Rec Room. Mami was lying on my shoulder, holding onto my arm. The shock must've been too great. I regretted not turning the TV off, being in the bathroom, watching that tape in the first place. At least then, she wouldn't have to see all of that.

"I'm sorry if you saw that," I told her. I couldn't think of anything better to say.

How did she get up here? Of course she died. I couldn't believe that Mami could die. For me, she seemed invincible. She could beat ten to twenty Wraiths on a single raid. Then again, Madoka definitely wasn't joking when she said that they were overpowering the Magical Girls on Earth. Now that they've taken Mami out, it was a sign that things were getting worse.

Maybe this was what Madoka was so stressed about. No wonder she was acting strange. And I went on with my day as if nothing happened. I can't believe it; I'm such an idiot!

What can I say to her? "Mami-san, I… I'm sorry this happened to you."

She looked up at me. The lids around her eyes were pink from tears. "What…?"

"Did you… did you die?"

"I…" She shook her head. "I don't know."

The minute after I asked that question, I wanted to hit myself in the head. Of course she died. Why would she be here if she didn't die? I was just making Mami feel worse. "Sorry, I… crud. Um, hold on, let me get you something…"

I stood and poured her a glass of cola. I didn't know if she drank cola, but there wasn't anything else. She held the cup with both hands without even drinking some, still frowning, as if she failed everybody that believed in her. Looking at her, I couldn't help but feel depressed.

First it was me who died under her. Then it was it was Mami herself. She must've felt horrible.

We stayed like this for a while, no words between us. Mami then looked up at me, and made a light smile.

 _The Girl hated how her Mentor could force herself to do that._

"It's… been a long time, Miki-san."

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

"Well, it's not really the kind of tea _you're_ into. It's all bagged and stuff." I took out a box of tea leaves from the cupboard for her to see. "Is this okay, Mami-san?"

"Anything is okay as long as you have it, Miki-san."

"Well, I know that whatever tea it is, you'll always make it taste good. It would be a little great to have some cake, though. But our office isn't really that loaded."

I had brought Mami to my office for something to calm her down. For a while, I was worried that Momoe would've still been around, but it seemed that she had left already. At least nobody would get any weird ideas this time.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

Did anybody know that tea is the second most popular drink on Earth?

"There are two stories about how tea came to be," Mami said as she prepared the leaves. "The first story is about the First Emperor of China, who was boiling water in his backyard when some leaves fell into it."

What was the first, you ask? Water.

I was boiling water in an electronic kettle. "And what's the second story?"

"The first tea plant grew from the eyelids of the monk who brought Buddhism to China."

"Wow, you guys really think that tea's serious business." I poured the water into the kettle as per her instructions. "Even the stories are far-fetched."

"But that's because tea is wonderful," she said, getting the cups out. "For me, it's the best drink in the world."

Second best.

And I hope the third is coffee.

"Hey, are you sure you'll be okay with drinking tea from coffee mugs?"

She shrugged. "It's not as if we can get fine set of china whenever we want, can't we?"

"Well, I can file a request," I told her. "We'll be lucky if it even comes tomorrow, though…"

Mami brought her cup up and smiled. "I'm fine with this."

We poured each other tea. Since I was with Mami, I wanted to look at least a little sophisticated with my tea, so I decided to mix a little milk with it just like the people in… France or something, right?

She reached a hand towards me. "Don't do that!"

The carton was already in my hands. "Huh? Why?"

"You don't mix green tea with milk, Miki-san."

"Isn't this what those _ojou-sama_ characters in television do?"

Mami shook her head. "No, no, you're talking about Black Tea. This is Green Tea. Unless it's a darker blend, you don't want to mix milk with Green Tea. Trust me on this."

 _The Girl felt like an idiot_.

I shrugged, and put the carton down. "Well, you're the tea expert, Mami-san. I remember the tea you made for Kyoko and me back then. That was just…"

I closed my eyes, trying to summon the flavor in my tongue. Citrusy, kind of like an orange, but not an orange. I think it even had oil in it or something… It was the tea Mami made on the first night I became a Magical Girl.

"Huh?"

"It was… ah, I can't remember. Oh well. I just know that it was something nice. Anyway…" I sailed to my desk, sitting on my lazy boy. "So, you must be pretty surprised, huh?"

She shook her head. "Not really. But… I am a little confused, though."

"Let me settle that confusion of yours, then, Mami-san. Welcome to… well, heaven. You know that story you told us with Akemi and Kyoko? It's true! Being led away, eternal happiness, all of it! And you know what's more awesome? We're actually best friends with the head honcho around here…" I explained to her that a girl named Madoka Kaname was the Law of the Cycles, and that girl was our friend in a past life. "Isn't that great?"

She sat quietly in a chair, sipping her tea all the while. It seemed that she was concentrated on something, but more importantly, I didn't know whether she was glad or not.

"Yes, I… I already know who Madoka Kaname is."

She already did, but it seemed that things didn't go so good between them. So I asked her if that was the case.

"It's… complicated."

I sipped some of my tea. Why did tea always have to be so bitter? "You sound like an actress after breaking up with her boyfriend."

She sighed. "I don't know, really. I just don't… I don't really click well with Kaname-san, I suppose."

"But once you watch the tapes, you'll see that we've been very good friends with her. You two got along really well, you know?"

Mami looked at me as if I had something written on my forehead, then glanced away, slightly frowning again. "The tapes…"

"Yeah, you see there was this alternate universe where these monsters called Witches existed, not Wraiths. And for reals, they're like, a hundred percent worse. Anyway, we existed in that universe, so what Madoka did was she put those memories into tapes so I could watch them…"

But then I remembered. Mami was watching one such tape, and she didn't really take it that well.

"Oh sh—crud. I'm sorry, Mami-san. I forgot…"

She waved a hand. "No, no, that's… fine, Miki-san."

But seeing herself like that, dying another way just after she died. I would've felt horrible if it happened to me. What more Mami? I knew she was a lot stronger, but a person could only take so much. Whatever the way Kyoko died, she must've blamed herself for that somehow. And if she's already met Madoka, then finding out that she had a past life and all that stuff must've shocked her a lot too. Dying and seeing the tape must've been the cherry on the top of the cake. Or was that sundae? I was never familiar with that phrase…

I emptied my tea. "You know what? How about this: My Secretary and I will go out drinking later to discuss things. I think she's gonna chew me out for bringing girls into the office."

When she heard that, Mami slowly gaped, with a brow raised, no less. "Huh…?"

Secretary, drinking, bringing girls into the office, and I'm explaining this to Mami, who just got here and is technically 14 or 15 years old. Of course. "I know; it's confusing. I'll explain later. That, and I'll also give you a little brief about this place. So first of all, well… Welcome to the Cycles, Mami-san."


	7. 2-4

**2-4**

I was afraid that Mami wouldn't be able to hold her liquor, so I ordered some _Amazake_ for her. Apparently, she got insulted by this so I upped the ante with _Sake_. Now after the rice wine, we still weren't down, so I decided to just drop my assumption that Mami never drank before, and ordered a couple of Johnny Walkers and waters.

"So, Mami-san, how do you find the drinks?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I don't feel a thing."

"You're saying that now, but later you'll drag yourself all over the floor." I laughed. "It's a shame that Momoe-san's not here yet, though. Girl's usually more punctual than this."

The place I brought her to was a little cubby hole of a place; the brick basement of a building just near where I lived. It was the type of bar where they hung up framed records of unknown singers on the brick walls, old black and white (sometimes sepia) photographs, and an old LP player. Not usually my type of place, but there were very few people, it was quiet, and they served pizza. Our table was a round one with a single lampshade in the middle, with the rest of the bar being quite dim. It was like drinking in candlelight.

I would've liked to hear Ithzak Perlman play Bach's _Chaccone_ on an LP though. But then again, who drinks to _that_?

"Maybe she got caught up in traffic," Mami mused.

"Traffic? You don't get traffic here, not in the Cycles. You just close your eyes and boom, you're here. Doesn't even take two seconds."

"Maybe she's just… in the middle of something."

"Wouldn't be the first time; she's always busy with something," I offered. "Maybe that's what's stressing her out. What do you think?"

We had already been chatting for an hour about life in the Cycles. Of course I was careful not to talk about things like how Mami died, but I was really curious about what was happening on Earth before she left. Up to now though, no such luck; in a conversation, there's a flow, but it seemed that the flow here hasn't reached the place where I wanted it yet. I had to keep steady. But to be honest, I was running out of things to talk about with her, and the warm buzz in the back of my head wasn't helping things either.

"I don't know. Maybe. By what you told me, you two seem quite overworked there," Mami said.

I sighed. "Yup. A couple of beleaguered bureaucrats. It's a wonder why we haven't gotten any raises. Then again, we don't need any raises up here…"

While Mami took up another shot, I thought of something.

"Hey, Mami-san, don't you want to sign up as an Agent? I mean, you did mentor me and all… yeah, that should work. You'd make a great teacher." I scratched the back of my head. "Then again, you might put me out of a job though, eheheh…"

She shook her head, the white feather on her cap just like an immaculate feather duster. Why did I notice that? "I don't know about that, Miki-san. I wasn't really all that great of a magical girl..."

When I heard this, I got real angry. Of course I didn't show her, but… I don't know exactly why I did, but I didn't like hearing Mami say that about herself. "What are you talking about? You were the best one there! You taught me and Kyoko to fight, and look at how we turned out. Remember that time when we went out to clear the Wraiths from North Mitakihara? You practically took every single one of them out; you didn't even leave anything for us."

She crinkled her eyes. In the hard yellow light of the lampshade, they sparkled. "North Mitakihara…"

"Yeah, don't you remember? The Miasma got too thick there; took around a week to clear too. We had to work all-nighters, right? When we're at school, everyone's like, 'Hey, Sayaka, did you study all night or something?' And I'm like, 'Yeah, sure, whatever,' and they go, 'So why did you fail the test, then?' We even started having these lines under our eyes, but you, Mami-san, you were flawless. How did you do that?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, and then smiled at me. "Luck, I suppose."

"Don't give me that; you were a hero, hands down. Even Kyoko couldn't help but think so too. Well, she never did, but it shows… sometimes."

"You give me too much credit," she said.

"Because you deserve it," I told her. "You were a real hero, Mami-san. Like, you were the only person I really looked up to during that time. You were calm, you were powerful, you were… all sorts of things. Rolled into one and… and…" I sighed when I lost the words. "You were just awesome. Not like me..."

"Don't say that, Miki-san."

"But it's true. Even in your past life you were the girl who's in charge. Madoka, the Goddess of the Cycles? You mentored her, you know? And you were just as great battling Witches as you did fighting Wraiths. And I was just still… whiny-old Sayaka who couldn't even freaking… kill Familliars by herself or whatever."

I looked away from her, ashamed of myself. It was true that Mami was way better than me as a magical girl, but I shouldn't get mad at her because she was simply longer in the business then I was at the time. Of course she would be more experienced.

 _What the Girl was really mad at was herself._

While I was thinking of nothing in particular, I felt something on my glove. I looked; Mami's hands were on them. She was sad. Her eyes were still glittering, all of her other features glowing in the soft yellow light.

I think I had a dream like this once. My mother was reading me a story to see me sleep good night, or telling me bad news, I don't know. She had the same look on Mami's face.

"Miki-san, you don't have to say that about yourself," she said. "You've changed a lot from the old one I've known. You're more mature now, more like an adult. Look at what we've talked about: Your job is to fight alongside Madoka, right? Isn't that worth something?"

I shrugged. "I… I dunno. I guess…"

"Then what are you so sad about? I don't get it."

Of course she would say that. Mami didn't know anything. I didn't want to tell her anything either; she didn't deserve to know the things I did. It might be too much for her.

I didn't want anybody to know the things I did.

"It's… It's a little complicated, Mami-san."

"Now it sounds like _you_ broke up with your boyfriend," she said. "Everything can be both simple and complicated; it all depends on what you want out of it."

"I… don't understand."

Mami's hands were really soft and warm. For some reason, I was too fixed on thinking about them. Those fingers, long and slender fingers…

"Don't do that to yourself, Miki-san, please."

The fingers slowly peel off my gloves. They intertwine themselves with my own fingers, sharing warmth. Smooth palms touch.

"You don't have to torture yourself like this."

My hand and her hands, they feel each other, sharing warmth with each other. It's the only warmth left in existence. Her hands go up my wrists, my elbows, my shoulders, before pulling me in for a kiss.

"You can't be sad forever."

My hands were under the table, on my thighs. She still had the same face on, but her hands held a glass of water.

I held my breath. Was… was that a dream?

"Miki-san," she said. "Are you listening?"

"H-Huh? Yeah—yes. I was," I answered, apparently not. My head was still all about her hands.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _Unwrinkled white blouse, little tight green skirt, curvy thighs in taut black socks. The Girl couldn't get these images out of her mind as she walks with her Mentor out of the bar. It is slowly becoming the night she was imagining: A warm body, cold wind, hot breath. Hands tied together in a bid to avoid getting lost, her Mentor is hopelessly inebriated, the Girl too._

 _It dawns on the Girl that she could definitely sleep with her. It is just a hunch, but the Girl knew that her Mentor wouldn't mind at all if she just made an advance. The Girl has every reason to, no reason not to. She had always wanted to dominate her Mentor, somehow be better at her at something. Maybe The Girl wanted to take her Mentor's place. But shouldn't she? Would that be acceptable? She could easily lead her Mentor to her own place; she wouldn't have been assigned a room yet. The Girl argues with herself the whole time they walk._

 _At least, pretends to. Whatever sates her inner morals._

 _It is useless. She knows what is going to happen. It is inevitable._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

Do all girls in the Cycles call out for their mothers during sex?

Thank Madoka we took it slow this time. I wasn't too big on getting tired anyway. It was a relaxing change of pace, at least.

I offered Mami some coffee, instant café au lait. Surprisingly, she accepted. Whatever made us warm, I guess.

Leaning on the headboard of my bed, I looked out of the window again. Just the same as last night, lots of stars. She was leaning on me, clinging on my arm. I could smell her hair. Rose? Lavender? Lemon? I was never that sharp with smell, but I knew one thing: It was good. Mami was warm. I had never been with someone so soft either. That's good; We both needed warmth in this awfully cold room.

"They don't know what they're talking about," I said. "Every single one of them. I try to tell them, but they don't understand. Don't they know what they're getting themselves into? Nobody understands. I think it's me who has the problem."

"Maybe it's them who have the problem, not you."

I shook my head. "No, no. If I was a good teacher, I could easily tell them. Don't be an Agent. That's it, right? That's all I have to tell them. I try, really try, but I can't get it out for some reason. It… it frustrates me."

"You're only frustrating yourself, Sayaka. You don't have to worry about them. Worry about yourself."

"You're right, but… I can't just let them go through what I did. I don't want anybody to go through what I did, do the things I did..."

"That's all in the past. Don't think of those anymore. Think about now, what's in front of you. You can't stay stuck in the past forever."

"I'm trying to. I really am, it's just..." I shook my head. "I don't know. Am I even making sense, Mami?"

"Just let it all slip by and just…"

She went up and pulled me down into the bed, wrapping both her arms around me, legs tied. She drew close to me, and I felt her breath tickle my ear, hot, moist.

"…let go."

"I don't know. Can I?"

"Of course, you can."

"What we're doing right now… Kyoko, if she finds out…"

She shook her head. "That doesn't matter now."

"But a lot of other people… they don't let go of the past so easily."

"Who are you talking about?"

"…Madoka," I said.

"And what about her?"

"We have breakfast all of the time. Soon, you will too."

"And what happened when you had it with her?"

"Today, nothing much. She's stressed, says that it's becoming too hard for everybody on Earth. I think she's sad about your death."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I don't think you're bothered about that, though."

"Of course I'm bothered; you died. Do you think I won't feel sad?"

"I'm not talking about that. I was talking about Madoka."

"Oh."

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

I was at war with myself. Should I tell her, or not? Maybe I should, but that didn't mean I would win her sympathy. Mami might even get mad. Up to this point, I never considered telling it to anybody before.

"It's Madoka, she… I think she's trying to make me into a different person."

"Funny," she said. "I had the impression that you didn't like sharing Madoka."

When I heard what she said, I think my chest popped for a moment. Good thing I was able to suppress it. "How did you know that?" I asked, calmly.

"Just a hunch. With how you talked about Madoka being a Goddess, being everywhere at once. You say that you're her best friend, but she has to be best friends with a lot of other people. I wouldn't be surprised if you became jealous."

"Oh. Maybe that's true… Maybe I was lying that time. I don't know. But now, I think I told you that we had lives before we fought Wraiths, right?"

"Yes."

"Madoka, she… tends to mix me up with… _old_ Sayaka. Like it was really me or something, you know?"

"Right."

"I just can't understand it sometimes. Why can't Madoka just accept me as… _me_? She seems like a nice person enough, but I'm different from old Sayaka. For reals. Technically I'm not even her, right?"

"She sees you that way; having those memories of the old you, she can't help herself."

"Yeah, but I was… born different. Or reincarnated different. Or, or… bleaugh. Whatever. I really appreciate what she did for me with letting me see Kyosuke's concert, but really, all these tapes she's giving me, they all make me see a girl _I don't even know._ "

She knew that I was talking about the blu-rays. "So why even watch them?

"I dunno, maybe I just… didn't want to hurt her feelings."

Mami stayed quiet for a while, before whispering something. "That's very kind of you, you know."

"I'm not kind. I was never kind. Maybe that's why I hate being old Sayaka. Because we're exactly alike."

None of us had anything to say for a moment. I was afraid that the silence would fall into awkwardness again, so I tried to talk about something else.

"Tanhauser Gate," I said. "Do you know what Tanhauser Gate is, Mami?"

Mami stayed quiet. In her breaths, I could feel her waiting for my words.

"It's this big mouth of a… wormhole. At the edge of the universe. It's so far away that even death doesn't exist there. So far away that an hour there is almost… I dunno, it just takes a really long time back on Earth. It's one of the many, many bits Madoka had never reached—her hope, I mean. Beyond that wormhole, it's darkness. Darkness everywhere. You can't even see your own hands, and you doubt that you're even alive. You are alive there, sure, but... it's just that something else is alive in there with you."

Images come into my mind, none of them anything I wanted to see. I felt like throwing up, but I resisted, clenching my teeth.

"Imagine that hole, just with thousands… hundred thousands… millions of Witches swirling out of it like a sort of vortex, a snake rising out of its hole. Never-ending. We fight at places like those… almost every week. Just seeing it could make you die four times over. It's there you can… you can see how much a girl can do to another girl."

"But they're already dead, and you're not," she said. "You're here."

"That's the problem. I'm here because I already am, right?"

She smiled. Her lips in the silver light shined, softly, lending credence to its honesty. "I'm not talking about that kind of dead, silly."

"I know, I know."

We stayed together like that for a while, admiring the light outside. It was almost a dream, having a view like this of the stars.

"We are the dead," she said out of the blue.

For me, it had some sort of solemn meaning, and I couldn't help but let the sentence stay stuck in my head.

"We are the dead," I repeated.

It was another silence again. I hated these silences.

"You know Mami, I think I… I did lot of bad things to you."

"Don't' say that."

"All that time I've… I've spent looking up to you. Idolizing you, I never… never really spent time to see the rest of who you were."

"Stop it, Sayaka."

"I never once thought that you were a person."

"That was over; please…"

"I'm so sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"

I was meaning to tell her a few more things. But again, I had been dragged into the rabbit hole of sleep.

* * *

 _And so concludes Day 2... Two left._


	8. 3-0 3-1

**3-0**

I was having another dream. Maybe it wasn't a dream at all. I don't know what the differences between dreams and reality are anymore.

I was watching Kyosuke play at a recital. It's nothing special; he's just supposed to play for a panel. For him, it must be something short of the most important thing in his life. I don't share his feelings, though.

Madoka was with me, watching. But she was saying something too. I know they're words, I know she was saying something important. But her voice is so far away, as if she's speaking into the darkness of an empty well. The Me who is talking to her looks exactly like me. She speaks like me, moves like me, cries like me, but I know it's not Me. It's somebody else, someone who's crawled into my skin, taken it, speaking to Madoka with my own voice.

But it's not Me.

That Me told Madoka many things. Told her that I will be happy, that nothing bothers me anymore, that I will be happy for the boy playing at the stage, the girl hiding behind its curtains. This Me sheds tears, happiness at them both, happiness that she's finally being taken away by Madoka.

Somewhere far away, I—the real Me—was watching all of this. I was in an unbreakable glass box. I was sad. I was angry. I was a lot of things.

But I knew this: everything that Me said were lies.

Indignation was crying out.

"LIAR!"

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _The Girl opens her eyes, sees her Mentor sitting at the side of her bed, her naked back in the blue light of early morning. Seeing her like this, from the golden head of hair that went past her shoulders, the small of her back, down to the softness of the skin on her thighs,it is only now that the Girl realizes it—she had never seen such a beautiful human in her life._

 _She wants to touch her Mentor, let her fingers slide down from the top of that back, draw warmth, draw a connection. She lifts her hand up. She's hopeful that today, she'll let her touch it._

" _Don't touch me," she says._

" _Why?"_

" _Just… Just don't."_

 _The Girl is left on her bed, helpless as her Mentor hurries putting on her clothes. Buttons a blouse, pulls up a skirt, but forgets to make those curls. No time for curls, apparently. Anything excess she takes up in her hands, before rushing out of the door without another word._

 _The Girl is finally alone. She muses on this thought, before a great emptiness comes over her. It is fleeting, as if it were cutting her off of vital air. For a few moments she had lost herself. The emptiness had left her not knowing what to do. She knows that she should do_ something _, but what?_

 _The Girl frowns at the sight of the closed door. Her eyebrows crinkle, her lips form a frown. She covers herself in blankets. They shudder amidst soft wails._

 **3-1**

I waited for an hour, but Madoka hadn't come. She never stopped coming here for breakfast, not even once. If she had to skip breakfast, she would've told me the reason why beforehand. Her absence had struck me dumb. I was seeing a different side to the absolute image of Madoka I had in my mind. I had nobody to share my morning with.

It wasn't as if would have anything to share; nobody had replaced the food inside my fridge. In fact, there wasn't any food at all. Just instant coffee, and memories full of regret.

I spent the rest of the morning thinking of why Madoka hadn't come. Maybe she was doing something. Maybe she already ate breakfast. I didn't know. All I did know was she wasn't here. Of course I was lying to myself. I knew of some things that could've happened. She must've found out how I talked about her with Kyoko and Mami. Maybe she sensed the game of pretend we played every morning. Maybe she read my thoughts and played along out of the goodness of her heart. There were thousands of possibilities. Even if I didn't have to think of what exact one it was, in the end the only important fact was that she found out what I was thinking.

I wished that I perfectly understood what I felt that morning. Sipping my coffee, empty plate on the table, I kept sipping, letting the warmth spread through me. The warmth was like an underline made to emphasize certain words. What were those words? Shame? Hate? Anger? Loneliness? Sorrow? I just knew that I was feeling something. I tried thinking of what it was, but I wasn't an organized thinker; my mind flew to other places I didn't mean to bring it to, bringing up other thoughts I didn't mean to ponder on.

I ended up thinking of my dream. Kyosuke up on the stage, Madoka and I sitting there, talking. It was another Me, and the real Me was far away trapped in a glass box, screaming something. Almost crying out. I wasn't much for deciphering dreams, but it did mean something to me.

It was me being a total liar, and someone was crying out inside me to let me see what I had become.

Had I always been such a horrible person? Even in my past life, I was exactly who I was. I couldn't believe that I had managed to live so far ignoring it. I felt queasy. The heat above my ear was there again. I felt it, under my hair. It was like a car seat you left baking in the afternoon sun for a while. Now I knew what it was, why it was there. And it pissed me off to know both facts.

Self-loathing, no matter how it comes to you, always comes brutally, always ruins your mornings in nothing flat. My eyes were open, and my plate was on the table intact. I closed them, and then opened them again to find that my plate had been shattered, 8, 9, 10 jagged pizza slices. My right hand was bleeding. But I closed my eyes a second time, and neither was plate shattered or hand bloodied. For a good while I kept staring at my palm, right in the middle where a thin line went from the left to the right unbroken. I tried to see some red circle or bloody wound in the middle of it, stigmata, but the image wouldn't solidify. Become real.

Terrific. I'm seeing things.

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

Nothing in my stomach and nothing to do, I made myself go to work earlier than I did yesterday. I sat on the lazy-boy in my office, wondering where things went wrong. But I couldn't pin it down to just one cause. It seemed that any major problem a person had was caused not by a large event, but an interconnection of small, seemingly meaningless ones. There were now too many for me to count, and I gave up trying.

I did everything I had to do—papers signed, re-signed, signed in triplicate; bio-data forms organized, desk cleared, secretary's desk cleared, floor vacuumed and windows polished and shined. I was consumed by a feeling that I had to do something, any _thing_. I got jittery just seeing a piece of paper not inside a filing cabinet or a folder. When everything was done, I felt sadder than ever. I even considered leaving a note for my secretary so I could go home, say I was sick.

Then this happened.

"Momoe-san, you look like a mess. What happened to you?" I asked.

"I was… busy at home. I had a lot of things to handle."

Momoe did look like a mess. Well, as far as the definition of the word 'mess' went. Her eyes were a bit sunken. It was obvious that she wasn't getting enough sleep. I knew that Momoe was always busy. But what was she being busy about? Being too busy was bad, though. It was affecting her performance here at work.

But I wasn't up to telling people off that morning, because… you know.

"Well, okay," I said. "That's fine. Momoe-san, just, um… please make me some coffee."

She was putting that oversized bag behind her desk, and she noticed the papers I had organized. In reply, she muttered something I barely heard.

"I'm sorry?"

"…We're all out of coffee," she repeated.

That reminded me that the Logistics Department hadn't brought in that request yet. It only added to the number of things I was mad about that morning. "Then um… please make me some tea."

"We're all out of tea."

"Then _what_ do we have around here?"

For a few moments, Momoe was silent. She sat on her desk, shuffled a few papers, and stood up again. She couldn't settle in just one place. Again, she said something, but her voice was so low that I didn't understand any word of it.

"You know, Momoe-san, you gotta raise your voice when you speak. What was that?"

"…Cheese."

Huh?

"I'm sorry? Did you just say _cheese_?"

"Yes. Cheese."

"What about Cheese?"

"That's all we have."

"Wait, how am I supposed to drink Cheese?"

When I said that, she looked at me with her eyes. Tired, yes, but there was something else in them that moment.

They burned, brightly. Like fire. I never had the idea that a person could store that much anger in a stare.

"Because that's all we HAVE!" she yelled.

None of us spoke when she made that outburst. It was as if somebody broke an expensive vase; both of us didn't know what to do. It was the only time I had seen Momoe like that.

After a few moments, she cleared as much paperwork as she could from my table, stacked them all neatly as she carried them on her chest, and stormed out of the room regardless of whether they were signed or not.

What was that all about? I stared on as my door closed, before looking at whatever was left on my table. Nothing more but a few receipts in the last few months I kept on file. Weird. It wasn't just me; it seemed that everybody was becoming weird somehow.


	9. 3-2

**3-2**

In the next two hours, Momoe didn't come back. And when training was supposed to start, I had to manage by merging both classes and hope that Momoe left off with them at the same lesson my class did. Fortunately they only needed a few refreshers and they were good to go. I wanted to consider myself blessed. At least something went right this morning.

Agent Theory wasn't so hard to talk about; it was just about how an Agent's job was tough and what risks were associated with it. Cycles Ethos consisted of how to act as an Agent and as a girl inside the Law of the Cycles. All of them were just more Theoretical Subjects, before we could finally get the recruits into the Applied Subjects where they finally got to use their powers.

"Okay guys, so I think we already have everything settled about being Agents. What are the three things that make a good Agent?" I pointed to a girl at the back. "Katsuragi-kun, please."

This was a girl from my class. A very cute one that wore a teddy bear outfit. "A good Agent is made up of Bravery, Honesty and Respect for the Goddess."

I smiled. "Perfect. Gasai-kun, what is the Mission of the Law of the Cycles?"

This one didn't really have any distinguishing features, but she did have pink hair like Madoka's. "The Mission of the Law of the Cycles is to support the Goddess in spreading her message of hope throughout the Universe, and to support those who almost succumbed to despair."

"Perfect." I liked it whenever the class answered my questions. Usually, when I bothered asking some, all they did was stare at me. "Okay, looks like that's it for our lessons today. Tomorrow, we'll be talking about Despair Science. Now, if we manage to get through that quick enough, I might be able to get you all into practical—"

"Sayaka-san," one chimed, raising her hand. Right, I allowed them to call me Sayaka-san in class. A play at equality, despite the fact that I called them by their surnames to denote that they're students. Yeah, the Cycles is that kind of place. "Sorry to interrupt, but I have a question."

"Nah, that's okay; I don't mind." I did, but I couldn't just get mad at them. Could I? "What is it, Fuurude-kun?"

"Could you tell us about what happened at Tanhauser Gate?" she asked.

I was surprised. "How did you know about Tanhauser Gate?"

"Nagisa-san told us." I forgot to mention that this was a girl from Nagisa's class. "She discussed it as a study on Agent Tactics, said that you participated in the battle."

I swallowed, becoming a little jittery with her questions. "Did she… ask you to ask me about it?" Maybe it was the paranoia, maybe it was the overly-acidic instant coffee. Of course Nagisa wouldn't gain anything by having her students dig into my past. I knew was being ridiculous, but I couldn't be so sure.

Fuurude shook her head, maybe sensing my apprehension. "Nuh-uh, she didn't tell us anything like that. She already told us her side of the story, and we just wanted to know what you saw there…" She paused. The girl did know I was anxious. "Sorry, it's just that I thought it was something you could talk about."

As quickly as I tensed up, I felt a lurch in my stomach. I kinda did the girl some overkill, thinking of her like this. I should be a little more mature in handling these kinds of situations. "No, it's me who should be sorry. I… kind of reacted a little wrong there."

Maybe it was just me, but the girl was already pale with shame. "No, no, please, Sayaka-san, don't force yourself," she said, along with some girls I assumed were her classmates. "We'll be fine. Please."

"Oh, no. Don't worry. If you want, I can tell you guys what exactly happened at the start… then again, I guess Nagisa already told you that bit. Anything else you guys don't know? Um…"

"Please, Sayaka-san, its fine…"

"Okay, how about this: It was our first assignment, actually. I had just become an Agent. I guess, you can say I was the first Agent, so… Anyway, up to that point, Madoka usually handled the Witches, and long and short of it is well, she couldn't do that alone anymore. So she had us tag along, and..."

"No, Sayaka-san, you don't have to do this for us. Don't tire yourself," they all said.

"When I came there, it was all stars. Lots of stars, and they're all really bright. But the brightest thing there wasn't a star, but Tanhauser Gate. A big wormhole, biggest I've ever seen. Most of us were there, and well, we…"

"Sayaka-san, please, don't…"

"We… No, I think—Yeah, I because everybody else was… doing their own thing, I guess. _I_ saw something come out of Tanhauser Gate…"

" _Please don't do this…"_

"And I saw…" For a moment, the words disappeared from me. As if they fell off the edge of my mouth. "And I saw…"

" _Don't torture yourself like this."_

 _The Girl forgot what she saw._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _She saw something, didn't she? She saw a flood of Witches flowing out of the Tanhauser Gate, a snake of darkness that threatened to swallow the universe. She and Madoka saved the universe by defeating that snake. That was what they did, right? That's what happened, right? She's sure this was what happened._

 _But why can't she say it?_

 _She only has to open her mouth. Open, speak, close. She wouldn't have to speak afterwards. For all she cares, she wouldn't have to speak again as long as she lived. As long as she gets to say those words and afford the peace and quiet she always wanted, she should be able to say it. Why couldn't she do it? Why?_

 _Of course The Girl knows why. She always knew why. The nausea, the fevers, she knew everything all along._

 _This isn't her memory. None of what she remembers are her memories. They are all lies. If there is anything true in her mind, it is the feeling of déjà vu._

 _Did any of this happen before?_

 _But doesn't she have a life before all of this? Yes, the Girl remembers her life. Her name was Sayaka Miki, born in Mitakihara City, friends with Hitomi Shizuki, Kyoko Sakura, and Mami Tomoe. She has had a crush on Kyosuke Kamijou ever since they were children, she has lived in Mitakihara for as long as she remembered—_

 _This is it. She knows now. This was not her life. Her true life is different. Different how? Of course she knows how it is different. Just another added picture in the picture book that was her life. But this picture is so tightly woven into the book, that if one wants to make another book without it, then it is easier to make a new book lest risk the original one gets destroyed._

 _Her old life, the one she was originally born in… technically one could say that it is her real life. But what could be defined as her 'real' life is based solely on the grounds on whether it is the version that has the Goddess in it. Or not._

 _The Girl now knows what this means. What everything means. Yet at the same time it is all incomprehensible. More like a hunch than solid fact._

" _You don't have to understand," one of her students say. "It's not necessary to understand at all."_

" _All you have to do is give in."_

" _Yes, Sayaka-san." Another one of the girls says. "All you have to do is to stop torturing yourself."_

" _All you have to do is to Give Everything."_

 _They are all smiling._

 _The hairs on the edge of her skin all stand up. Sayaka has never been so scared in her life. If she did have one._

" _Don't you… don't you dare 'Sayaka-san' me!" she cries._

" _Give in," one says._

" _Stop torturing yourself," said another._

" _Give Everything."_

 _Sayaka gasps. "Stay away…"_

 _First, it is only a step. Then a slow walk, before turning into a brisk pace, then into a forceful push through the door in a frenzied run._

" _STAY AWAY!"_

 _Sayaka knew that there was nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. She doesn't even know what, just a vague feeling that something is coming for her. Could she go to her room? No, too far. Her office? Maybe her Secretary might be there. Could she trust Momoe? She doesn't know, and she doesn't have the luxury of time to make her opinion on that._

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

 _She certainly does not have the luxury of time when she finds Momoe inside the Rec Room._

" _What are you doing here?" Sayaka asks._

 _Momoe is seated on the sofa, hugging her tiny, toothpick legs. She has all of the papers from their office stacked in neat Jenga towers on the coffee table, staring at the TV. It is on, and it is playing one of the tapes from Sayaka's life, specifically a scene where she was talking to her Lover, Kyosuke._

 _Momoe has been watching the tapes. Of course, Sayaka does not know what to make of this._

" _What are you doing here?"_

 _Her Secretary stares at her, struck dumb by the question, a stack of papers in her hands. It's as if Sayaka asked why she was breathing air, why she valued self-preservation above self-mutilation, why Nagisa was a girl and not a boy._

" _What are you doing here?" she repeats._

 _Still the same dumb stare, the same blank stare. Sayaka has the idea that Momoe's face would have been perfect with a sentence coming out of her mouth._ 'What was that all about?' _or something akin to that. Her face was perfect for it._

 _For a few moments, none say anything to each other. Another addition to their prized collection of awkward silences._

"… _Get out," she finally says._

 _Nagisa still stares._

" _This… is my room," Sayaka says with hardness, the last word emitting finality in how it was said. "Get out."_

 _She's still not standing up._

" _I said, GET OUT!"_

 _That last one makes Nagisa stand up and get on her feet. The look on her face has no emotion, no signs of anything but a modest-looking dejection of some kind. Maybe denied a seat on the bus, or had missed the bus entirely and was just containing her displeasure. It is that kind of look. When she gets near Sayaka, the Secretary seems to have waved a hand in front of her face. There is a moment of complete darkness, and Sayaka veers to the left for a few seconds, before coming back up and seeing the seething rage from the morning earlier streaked across her Secretary's face. Seething red._

" _I don't know… I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU ANYMORE!"_

 _A few brisk steps, a door slams shut behind her. Sayaka feels her cheek, feels warmth, guesses it was red all over somehow. It is only now that she feels the sting._


	10. 3-3 3-4

_**The First (and last) Author's Notes you'll see in this fic:**_ _First off, thanks a lot to those who have been reading this fic so far. For the sake of the story's tone and flow, I have simultaneously released two chapters. I hope that you've enjoyed reading this fic as much as I did writing it._

 _Now, let me bring you the two last chapters of_ A Cycles Story. Enjoy.

* * *

 **3-3**

 _CUT TO:_ A music player spinning a CD precariously like a sawblade machine.

 _CUT TO:_ A bag of tapes Our Protagonist bought for her Lover, meticulously picked and shrewdly bargained for, labors of love because nothing short of it was worthy of fulfilling her self-satisfaction.

 _CUT TO:_ Our Protagonist sitting next to her Lover's bed, on a weary, but devoted vigil for his health.

Music plays in the background. It is not the kind of music you would like to hear at such a moment, but it is music. It is necessary for this scene to work.

"What are you listening to?" she asks, wanting to break the silence that had been over them for almost half an hour.

"The Girl with the Flaxen Hair," he says, saving his breath, a treasure worth jealously guarding.

Just so you know, _The Girl with the Flaxen Hair_ is not the music playing in the background. We do not have the Lover's ears, only his cryptic dialogue.

"Oh, that's Debussy! It's a beautiful song," she says, excited that she finally has a hook to start conversation with. "Um… you know what, it's kinda funny, but… I-I don't really think that people really see me as the type who'd listen to stuff like classical music." She even throws a little check mark with her hand to add flourish to what she was saying. Just for its sake. "And whenever I can name a piece correctly, seriously, you should see their faces! It's like they're impressed that I know about that stuff…"

Her Lover does not answer. It seems that he's either asleep, not listening, or both. He could be dead, maybe. Who knows? Our Protagonist is surprised at this, and decides to drop something off in hopes of getting his attention. "Everything I know about it is because of you. Seriously, though, I would never even listen to classical music ever if it… wasn't for you, you know…"

 _You bitch._

"Hey, Sayaka…"

Her Lover finally speaks. Our Protagonist's heart might've fluttered. But we do not have her heart, only the look of surprise on her face.

"Yeah?" she asks, a bit modestly in a bid to hide her excitement.

"…Cut it out. Stop torturing me already."

She gasps. The words may have not been processed correctly, but she knows their implications. The shock leaves her searching frantically for words.

He takes off his earphones, regards Our Protagonist with a stare that would've turned an ordinary girl into a piece of Antartica, or at least made her feel that she ought to be there. "Why do you keep coming here?" he asks. "Do you think I like listening to this music? It's like you're trying to hurt me."

She is not in Antartica yet, but the message is clear, shocking her. If she were weaker, she might not even speak another word for the rest of her life.

"Bu-But, Kyosuke, I… I thought you loved music—"

"I don't want to hear this crap anymore!" He holds his forehead, maybe trying to smack Our Protagonist but stopped himself, then smacking himself as punishment. We wouldn't know. We not have his mind, only his actions. "All I can do is listen! I… I just… arrrgh!"

No, he did not turn into a pirate. Maybe smacking himself isn't enough. Maybe he wants more punishment, maybe enough to destroy himself. We would not know exactly what his impulse is, but we do know what his impulse brought him to do.

A chop at the sawblade music player, the spinning CD splinters into thousands of little bits. Blood splatters from the offending hand across the blankets. Our Protagonist stands, shocked as her seat drops behind her. Afraid that her lover might injure himself more, she grabs hold of his hand. They both take deep breaths in exhaustion, before both of their bodies start shaking. Maybe out of desperation, sorrow, or maybe just plain despair.

"I… I can't move it," he cries. "I can't even feel the pain anymore! My hand's useless!"

"It's going to be okay. I'm sure someday, somehow… don't give up hope!" She says this with stars in her eyes, a smile in her lips. "They'll figure something out!"

 _You bitch._

 _You bitch._

 _You bitch._

"But they came and told me to give up!" he cried. And there were blobs of tears at the edge of his eyes. "They said I'll never play again. The Doctor told me. He said that current medicine can't help anymore. My hand is never going to move right again… Unless magic and miracles suddenly become real."

And this is it. Destiny had preordained her Lover say those last seven words. Though maybe the words were just a coincidence that fit with Our Protagonist's take on the meaning of the word 'magic' and 'miracles'. But maybe it was already designed to be that way, that the auspices of Fate had defined that Kyosuke Kamijou say these very words one afternoon in April of 2011. Always say those words someday on April of 2011. Every April of 2011.

The Why and the How of the existence of those words were unimportant anyhow. It is how those seven words had influenced Our Protagonist to make a decision that would've changed her life.

She already had her hand on the doorknob a long time ago. She was just waiting for an excuse.

"But they are!" she says with the determination fueled by the stars in her eyes, now supernovas giving her last breaths to inspire her dreams. Maybe signal her death knell. Who knows? "Miracles… Magic… They are real."

And in her eyes, we see Mephistopheles' silhouette. Before _CUT TO:_ Our Protagonist leaning on the bed, staring out into the afternoon glow.

Whether her life changed for better or for worse, we do not know.

 _You bitch._

 _You bitch._

 _You bitch._

 _You… BITCH!_

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

"YOU BITCH!" she cried at the TV. "YOU DIRTY BITCH!"

I don't know where I am right now. I was watching myself sitting on the sofa, screaming at the television. Where was I? Maybe standing somewhere near the snack bar, or leaning on the door to the toilet.

Was I having a sort of out-of-body experience? I couldn't think of how exactly I was able to do this, but here I was, watching myself scream my own heart out at the television, streams of tears flowing out of my own eyes. Was I going crazy? Maybe just thinking of the notion already proved it as so.

But who was she screaming at? I knew that I was screaming at Momoe. She watched the tapes, looked into my private life. She invaded my personal space. Defiled it. I couldn't forgive her for doing that to me. I was angry, I really was.

But why is it that I was screaming at the television? Could I really be sure that I was angry just at her?

Maybe I wasn't angry at Momoe at all.

I sat next to myself, regarded this other Me with a stare. I watched her rage, I watched her cry. During the whole moment, I thought I saw the full range of emotions I was capable of. I then closed my eyes, opened them again, and I was back in my own self. I wasn't watching another Me anymore. My fists were closed, ready to be banged on some table. My throat felt sore, my cheeks felt wet.

Fortunately, I was able to calm myself down after a while. I was poured myself a glass of Royal Crown Cola, just to let something cold go through my system. I don't really drink this usually, but it was all that I had.

I heard someone open the door, and of course I turned around. It was Kyosuke, in his school uniform and gray hair, smiling at me. He didn't have his violin, but that was fine.

Ah, right. Kyosuke had been here. He had always been here in the Cycles. I can't exactly say when he got here. Maybe he had just gotten here. Oh, I dunno. He was always here. And even though he was still with Hitomi, he cheated on her.

Yeah, he'd always been cheating on her. Who was he cheating with?

Me, of course.

"You're here," I said, stating the obvious.

His eyes studied me up and down, before stopping at my face. Maybe he noticed how red it was. "You've been crying."

For a few moments, no words came between us. At that point, I thought that I had an inborn talent for making such awkward silences. I didn't know what to do with myself. Part of me wanted to say something, the other wanted to just stay standing, frozen in time.

I offered my cup. "Um… Do you want some soda?"

He shook his head, and beckoned me to come with him somewhere.

"Where are we going?"

"Your office, Sayaka," he said with that familiar voice. "Follow me."

 **Xxx^.^xxX**

Did anybody know that Cheese is the most popular food in the world?

Sayaka certainly didn't know this. But Kyosuke said this, so it must be true.

"A cheese may disappoint," he says, biting a piece of crumbly Roquefort cheese on a little plate with some honey and nuts. "It may be dull, it may be naïve, it may be over-sophisticated. Yet it remains cheese—milk's leap towards immortality."

"Did you write that?" she asks, taking a bite of cheddar on her lazy-boy chair. Roquefort was too strange-looking for her tastes.

He shakes his head. "Nope. Some American did. His name escapes me, though."

"Milk's leap towards immortality, huh? Sounds kind of like something one of those new pseudoscience religions would say."

"Well, yeah, I guess you can say that. But what the phrase really talks about is how different Cheeses taste. Technically, Cheese is milk you separate into curds, mix with fungi and leave to basically rot. A process like that produces many flavors, and since what kind of cheese tastes good and what tastes bad depends on the person doing the tasting, they can both be disappointing, dull, naive or over-sophisticated. But in the end, Cheese has affected us so much that as a society, as people actually, that no matter how much of it you may hate a certain kind, it will still be there because a lot of other people who love it. Hence, Cheese lives forever."

Hearing such an explanation, Sayaka can't help but nod. Kyosuke was always so good at explaining things like that. He was so smart. "You must really love Cheese, do you, Kyosuke?"

"Cheese is love," he says. "Cheese is life."

Having finished her wedge of Cheddar, Sayaka is now confused as to what cheese she would choose on her Cheese Plate. "What will you do if Hitomi finds out about… us?"

A confident smile mounts itself on his lips. "She's not important right now. She never was." He notices Sayaka's predicament, and stands up to offer a hand, picking up a whitish cheese with a thick, soft yellow-green crust. "I suggest you try eating this, Sayaka."

A strange smell climbs up to her perception. "Ugh! What is that?"

"It's _Taleggio,_ an Italian Cheese made in Lombardy. It's a soft cheese created by monks, who washed their cheese wheels repeatedly to clean off any fungi or mold. What they didn't know is that they ended up encouraging more bacteria to grow in the cheese instead. It created a pungent flavor, and an even more pungent scent. It kinda smells like feet, but if you taste it, it's rich, kind of like butter. And if you eat it with the green rind, it becomes kind of salty and grainy since it's been washed in brine a lot."

The smell is enough to turn Sayaka off, but if Kyosuke said it was good, then… "Okay, I'll try it."

Sayaka cuts the cheese.

No, she did not fart. Don't be so immature. You're better than this.

She tastes it. Actually, it wasn't so half-bad.

"Told you it was good," he says.

She nods. It certainly is. "I can't believe it."

It doesn't take them long to finish all of the cheeses on the plate.

"So, what now?" she asks.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I'm here?"

"That's easy," she says. "You're cheating on Hitomi again, just like always."

"Sayaka…"

"You don't have to be embarrassed. Besides, it's not as if she'll up and turn into a magical girl to come here, right?"

He shakes his head. "No. This has to stop. I shouldn't have… I shouldn't have let this go further than it already has."

Worried that her lover was going through something, she stood up. "What are you talking about?"

"Sayaka," he says, drawing away from her. "Stop this."

"Stop what?"

"This is not healthy for you. You can't keep living like this."

The heat. The heat above her ear. It's come back. The wooziness makes her blink, she's losing balance.

"This is my fault," he says. "I can't bear seeing you hurt yourself like that. I shouldn't have let my own needs come first. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have..."

"No, this isn't your fault." She sincerely thinks that Kyosuke is worried about their affair. "I'm the one who wanted this!"

But he ignores her, makes his way to Momoe's desk.

"What are you doing there?" she asks.

Kyosuke takes up her Secretary's bag.

"Don't touch that; that's my Secretary's!" she cries. "She'll get mad. She's mad at me as it is!"

In a single motion, he throws the bag at the ground, letting its contents spill before Sayaka.

She stares at the mess made, before looking back up at Kyosuke. "Look at what you've done! Clean this mess up!"

"Sayaka, snap out of it! Listen to yourself!" he yells. "Can't you see what's on the floor?"

She takes a second look. Turns out that Momoe's bag doesn't contain documents at all. It's filled with clothes. Many pairs of clothes, all her sizes. A red coat, a black skirt, a white blouse, a tight green skirt… None of these details make any sense to Sayaka. She fails to understand the implications.

Looking for an answer, she directs her eyes back to Kyosuke. But he's not there anymore. Just this girl with her pink hair tied in a single tail, wearing his uniform.

Sayaka couldn't believe her eyes. "Wh-Who…?"

"Sayaka, please stop this," she says.

"Who are you?"

"It's me, Nagisa."

She shakes her head. "No, you're Kyosuke…"

"There is something you need to know."

"You're supposed to be Kyosuke…"

"There is something wrong with you," she says. "I don't know what it is, but it's dangerous for your mind."

Sayaka truly, sincerely believes that only Kyosuke should be standing in place of the girl. Who was that girl anyway? Why is she interfering? What did she do to her lover? "Why aren't you Kyosuke?"

"This is the fourth time this has happened, Sayaka…"

"Tell me where Kyosuke is!"

"Listen to me…"

"Tell me now! Or else I'll… I'll…"

Sayaka draws a sword from her cape.

"I'll kill you!"

"At Tanhauser Gate, I told you about this. Everything. But you… something happened to you and… it led to this."

"Tell me where Kyosuke is!"

"Madoka, she… you couldn't accept why she became that. Why you had to hide it all from her..."

"Sh-Shut up!"

Sayaka's sword drops on the floor. She covered both her ears and curled into her lazy-boy, hugging her knees.

"I don't want to hear any of this!" she cries.

"Listen, Sayaka! Face the truth! The Goddess, Madoka, you know all of this but I'll tell you one last time. She… _does_ something to all the souls she takes into the Cycles. I can't say what exactly, but after she picks up those souls, they only remain… happy. That makes sense, of course. How will you keep peace in a place that's filled with nothing but girls that died from despair that almost consumed them, who have known nothing but fighting most of their lives? This is because Madoka, she's…" Nagisa herself seems to be breaking as she says these words, but she steels herself. She needs to make Sayaka see her point. "She's neither a Magical girl or a Witch, but she is both of them at the same time. The Cycles is her barrier, Agents are her Familliars, the Souls that we pick up are her victims. Doesn't that make too much sense…?"

No, it does not. No, IT DOES NOT!

Sayaka shakes her head vehemently. "Shut up! Madoka… She's not like that! Stop making lies about her!"

"I thought that you would have agreed to hide this from the Goddess, but you reacted exactly the same way you did now…"

"Hide?" If she remembers correctly, Sayaka never agreed to do such treachery. "I'd never hide anything from Madoka!"

"Us Agents, we're… we're the Goddesses' shield, and we're not only here to protect her, but to make sure she keeps pure. Do you know how volatile her wish is? I know you do; stop pretending that you don't! Yes, she can defeat all Witches in the past, present and future. But nobody has ever said anything about what steps she has to take or what she has to become in order to do so. In an instant, she can become the greatest Witch in the universe and consume all of the others in one stroke. Maybe the number of Witches will be so great that Physics and the Law of Equilibrium will just change what living creature exactly is defined as a 'Witch' instead, and destroy those. Maybe it will just turn Madoka into a bomb that wipes out all of existence. I've already told you this before, didn't I? Why do I have to explain it to you over and over again like this…?

"In order to avoid these scenarios from happening, we absorb all her negative energies—bad memories, bad emotions, bad thoughts. We keep her pure, so when she purges Witches from the universe, she remains pure while we take her Grief. That's why we're different from the rest of the souls in the Cycles. We can _feel_ , they don't. We know the truth that nobody else, not even the Goddess herself knows. And this truth, I know how it's crushed you. I understand you completely. That's why I… that's why I…"

"But if that's true, then… that doesn't make us any different from evil."

"We're not evil, Sayaka—you're the one that's thinking we're evil! It's why you're stuck like this."

Nagisa walks up to Sayaka's desk, and stares at Nagisa with the eyes of who was on the midline between the chasms of death and despair.

"I can't stand see you do this to yourself anymore, Sayaka," she says. "You and me, since we're Agents, we're the only ones who can understand each other now. I need you, and you need me. I don't want to be alone anymore, I know you're thinking the same. Why can't you just let go of your past and just get over yourself already?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Sayaka cries.

"She's going to replace you, you know? She's bound to do that some day from now. The Goddess couldn't connect with you, so she's going off to find another one she might find as a suitable candidate. You've already lost her; why cling to her when she doesn't want you anymore?"

"It doesn't make any sense!"

" _You only have me left,"_ Kyoko says. _"Pick me."_

" _You only have me left,"_ Mami says. _"Pick me."_

" _You only have me left,"_ Kyosuke says. _"Pick me."_

Sayaka stares at these figures before her, before sitting properly on her chair, leaning on her desk, crying her eyes out.

 **3-4**

" _How was your day?"_ Kyoko asked.

"It was… well, you know. Something." Sayaka snuggled closer to her breasts.

The redhead knew better than that, though. _"You're having trouble with something, aren't you?"_

"It's…" She shook her head. "I'll get over it."

" _Sayaka. Don't act like that. You know how worried I get when you're like this."_

"It's not worth talking about."

Kyoko leaned her lips near her ear. _"Sayaka."_

"I told you; it's nothing, alright? Geez, why are you so persistent…?"

Kyoko disappeared, and she heard another voice. _"Will you tell me, then?"_

Sayaka turned her head, and saw Kyosuke on her hips, leaning over her with a smile. The blunette felt an inscrutable feeling of embarrassment mingling with guilt, making her think that the two feelings must have the same basis somehow. The poignancy of it all put her on the verge of tears. "You ran away from Hitomi again."

The boy caressed her cheek with a warm hand. _"Will you tell me what's wrong?"_

"You're… get away from me." She tore her head away from him, an inscrutable smirk. "You're cheating on her again."

The moon shined a silver light from the glass windows. Within it, Kyosuke's smile seemed to radiate some sort of majesty no one else could comprehend but her. A shining nebula from whom the songs of the secrets of life came from. He leaned in closer, letting Sayaka feel his warm skin touch hers, senses reacting to the slightest brush, the slightest pulse of heat in one area and the next. As they united, she felt her own life flow through these pulses of heat, her own self, her own soul leaking through the cracks.

"No… don't."

" _You don't have to tell me anything,"_ he said, hot breath brushing her lips. _"I know what is happening to you now."_

"Kyosuke… stop."

" _Don't draw away from me like that, Sayaka. You don't have to suffer like that."_

"Please stop. I beg you; stop before I—"

From somewhere, a jolt went up her body. Her nails dug themselves deep into her thighs, their own signals countering the jolt. But instead of stopping them, the jolt became fuller, more rounded, more real, harder and harder to resist.

" _You've suffered enough, Sayaka."_

She uttered a small yelp.

"Please… Please…"

" _You've suffered enough."_

"No, please. Not… not in there… not in there…"

" _What you did was right,"_ he cried. _"What you did was right!"_

"No… no… NO!"

A steady stream was already falling down the sides of her eyes. Wrath, gluttony, envy and lust melted into the most concise of forms. The jolts had become harder, and she braced herself for the finale that was sure to come. But nothing. But nothing.

Her nails had made deep wedges in the skin of her thighs, but they drew no blood.

"What I did was right. Right?"

Kyoko stroked her head lightly. _"I'm sorry, but I can't really say for sure."_

"It should be. I mean, I had to. Madoka, I would've destroyed her if I didn't."

" _I don't know."_

"Is that all you can say?" the Girl asked. "You don't know?"

" _All I can do for you is shrug,"_ Kyoko said.

" _Maybe you want to hear what_ I _have to say,"_ another voice said.

Who was that? Kyoko had disappeared, and now there was someone else leaning on Sayaka. A girl with long ebony hair, an earring in the shape of a salamander, her creamy white skin glowing in the moonlight. She looked up at the blunette, and without warning she touched her lips against hers.

Like how a needle pricks, a balloon pops.

" _Hi there, Alice. How have you been?"_

"My name is not Alice. It's Sayaka."

Who was this girl? Why was she on Sayaka? Why Alice? None of the important questions ever come to mind when it's time to ask.

" _I see you've changed your name again."_

"I've never changed my name."

She felt warm. Very warm. The depths of love, of a mother's womb, of emotion itself. Maybe… maybe she was emotion itself.

"Who are you?"

" _Maybe you know. Maybe you don't. I don't really care, either way."_

Who knew? Nobody did.

"Why are you here?"

" _To check on you."_

The girl then gave Sayaka a tap on the cheek, before leaning in for another kiss. As she drew away, a fine line of fluid stretched between both their lips.

" _Goodbye."_

* * *

 _And so concludes Day 3. There is nothing left but hate._


	11. Schadenfreude

**4-0**

When she opened her eyes, the early morning sun drew stretches of light from her windows. _When she opened her eyes, the early morning sun drew stretches of light from her windows._ Her chest felt heavy, tired. Breathing erratic, apropos of nothing. _Breathing erratic, apropos of nothing._ Weakness defined, absolute uselessness confirmed. _Absolute uselessness confirmed._ Her left eye dragged to the side, refusing to move from its view of the soft light from the cream curtain window. The right one, still possessing direction, hovered to the ceiling, down to the blankets, and then up the naked back of a girl and the long fluff that was her hair. The girl covered herself with a brown canvas smock, the kind you would have a hacky-sack doll wear.

Sayaka wondered if the image in front of her was real, and she lifted her right hand, up towards the top of her spine. Her fingers made contact, tips landing on smooth, supple skin. From the blade of her shoulders, down to the small of her back, eliciting a quick shrug.

Nagisa turned her head back towards her, the underside of her childish spite framed by her hair like a scarf of pink fur. "I told you not to touch me in the mornings, didn't I?"

Sayaka stayed quiet, not understanding a single word.

The pinkette's stare lingered for a few seconds, before pulling her face back again and proceeding to button down her smock. "We're being called."

Behind her, the blunette looked down, teal eyes trembling, regret congealing.

She noticed that she had buttoned her smock wrong, one button missing from the tidy arrangement. It was just two buttons, but why couldn't she…? There. Perfect. "It seems that we're going on that rescue mission She's made up."

No answer from Sayaka, who was too busy frowning at herself, before wiping a tear from her eye.

Nagisa bent over to reach for her shorts on the floor, pulled them up, before realizing she had to put on underwear first beforehand, pulling the shorts down. "Crap… Anyway, you know who Homura Akemi is? Hold on…"

The blunette turned to the side, and covered her face as her shoulders trembled.

"…There we go." After a brief struggle with her panties, she finally put them in their place. "You know what, never mind. I'll just look it up later."

As she was putting her bonnet up on her head, Nagisa flinched as she heard a loud wail behind her. She made a side glance, but thought better of it and went on to wear her stockings. Once that was done, she stood up, slipping both her feet into a pair of Mary Janes.

"When you're done," she said, using two of her fingers as an improvised shoehorn to get her feet into those ridiculously tiny shoes, "clean yourself up. You look like a mess… Okay, nice fit." She dusted her hands proudly. "We'll be waiting with Her at the hall. Get there at ten o' clock. Oh, I remembered: you'll be having breakfast with Her before that."

The wailing continued as Nagisa made her way towards the door. Opened, then halfway out she made one more glance at Sayaka, the half of her lips curving upward. "Remember, all smiles."

The door clicked itself closed, an omen of something. But what? Sayaka continued to cry, kept crying, cried. Until it seemed that she was crying tears of pure blood to make up for the loss. But no. Blood could never be shed. Not here in heaven.

Coming to, Sayaka sat up, looked around. Nobody. She is lonely again. She had already grown accustomed to loneliness. That old, familiar feeling.

 **4-1**

That morning, they had breakfast. Eggs with a little salt and pepper.

"So, Sayaka-chan, how was yesterday?" the Goddess asked.

The Girl played with her food, twirling the yolk of her eggs with a fork. She found it not the least bit appetizing.

"You seemed very tired yesterday," she sipped a cup of her tea. "I'm worried about you."

The yolk. How curious the yolk was. A little yellow orb in the middle of all that whiteness, enclosed in its own peace. Now her fork was disturbing that peace. How she loved it. Just sliding the tins of her utensil among its surface, knowing that just a slight push of force would destroy it. Will she preserve this peace, or will she finally tear it asunder?

Across the table, a hand in a white glove touched her fork, softly, as if holding something so fragile that would've turned into dust.

The girl looked up, and the Goddess frowned. Her eyes sparkled, the most honest eyes the girl had ever laid eyes on.

"Are you happy here, Sayaka-chan?"

Happy. Here. Happy. Here. Are you. Happy. Here. What were these words? What did they mean? Did they have something to do with breaking this yolk? Did they have something to do with the weather, or how many Agents were supposed to be trained this day, or how much she owed to the Goddess? Oh, yes. The Goddess was talking to her. What was her name again?

The girl smirked at that question. Why can't she remember? She knew the Goddess. She was her most loyal servant. Surely, she must know her name somehow? It'd be embarrassing to ask the Goddess what her own name was. Maybe… maybe she should try to remember? Yes, try. Try to remember, yes.

She closed her eyes. It was dark for a few moments, before she opened them again. Somehow, the air smelled different. Cooler, with a hint of dirt. She was in a playground, and for some reason, she was a child. There was another girl there, pink hair tied in two tails. It was the Goddess. Of course, the girl knew the Goddess since they were children. Of course she would be here.

The Girl was minding her own business, building something in the sand: A pyramid. It was sunset, the sun itself going down the horizon between two hills. Light was fading from the sky, slowly melting into the violet of twilight. If there was anything bright there, it was the Goddess' worried eyes.

She looked down at the Girl, standing between her and the sand pyramid.

" _Are you happy here, Sayaka-chan?"_

Those words again. Confusing words. The Goddess was talking strange. No, not strange. Maybe it was the Girl who was strange. Yes, maybe that was it. It was something wrong with her, not the Goddess. There can never be anything wrong with the Goddess. Nothing wrong at all.

So the Girl closed her eyes again, trying very hard to understand those words. When she opened them again, the air was cooler—much cooler. Air conditioned. The smell of dirt was gone, replaced by the chatter of people—alive people. Real people. But of course people were real, because they were people. Right? Why did the Girl even think that people couldn't be real?

The Girl shook her head. Nonsense. Just nonsense. She should focus on understanding those words.

She was in a classroom, and she was wearing her old school uniform. People were talking to each other, recess time. The sun was up in the sky, shining brightly. But nothing else was brighter than the sparkle that was in the Goddesses' worried eyes.

" _Are you happy here, Sayaka-chan?"_

Was the Goddess testing her? Definitely. This was a test of sorts. Yes. A test. She had to answer, and answer quickly. She couldn't afford to fail the Goddess now. But what answer would she give her? It didn't matter; as long as it was an answer, as long as it was words. Words, yes. Words… she had to say words.

" _Are you happy here, Sayaka-chan?"_

She closed her eyes again, and now they were on a stage. Kyosuke was at the middle, playing a violin, peacefully alone in a recital.

" _Are you happy here, Sayaka-chan?"_ she asked.

"Die," the Girl answered.

The Goddess raised a brow, concerned, confused. Wasn't that the answer?

"I want you to die." These were the answers. They had to be, right? "Can you please die?"

The Goddess at was still confused. Still puzzled. Still wondering about something.

Weren't these the answers?

She smiled. "I want to cut your head off. I want to beat you until you're purple all over. I want to strip off your clothes, tie you naked to a pole, and shoot you full of arrows like Saint Sebastian."

The Goddess at breakfast was confused. " _Why?"_

"Because you should've left me to die."

The Goddess at the playground was worried. _"Why?"_

"Because you took everything I was away from me."

The Goddess at the stage had tears fall from her eyes. _"Why?!"_

"Because I'm not happy here!"

The Girl was sure of her answers. She was confident that these were the answers the Goddess wanted. Oh, how happy she should be when she hears all of this!

She closed her eyes, and opened them again. Both her hands were now cradled firmly on the Goddess' neck, embracing it warmly, lovingly, tightly.

"I was never happy here! You took who I was! You should've left me to DIE!"

At the classroom, she knocked the Goddess on the window, until it cracked, and the Girl managed to throw her off the edge.

At the stage, Kyosuke lent the Girl his violin, and she smashed it against the Goddess until she was black and blue all over.

In the playground, the Goddess' neck was, for some reason, a little harder than the rest of the necks. As her victim squirmed, struggled, ran out of air, the Girl pressed her into the sand pyramid, knocking her against it again and again, until it was a hill of dirt had covered the Goddess' head.

She was now the present Goddess, the one the Girl had been serving for so long. The Girl herself was now an adult, or at least, the oldest she managed to become before reaching the Cycles as a Magical Girl. She enjoyed this form because she had boots, because boots were good to stomp on the hill of dirt she had made. To stomp with again, and again, and again.

The Girl at the playground stepped away from the body whose face was buried under the sand.

The Girl at the classroom stared over the broken window, admiring her handiwork as other shocked students gathered around her.

The Girl at the stage returned the now-broken in violin to Kyosuke, before putting her hands behind her back, then observing the result of her performance.

The Girl at the playground didn't like the idea of watching a corpse whose face was hidden. She wanted to content herself with seeing the last look on the Goddess' face with her own eyes. The suffering, that chaos, that sorrow of betrayal. She got on her knees, dug out the san with her bare hands. It did not take her too long to see the result of her hard work.

It was her. The Girl dug up her own face.

It was her. The Girl saw her own face on the ground amidst bloody shards of glass, bloody blades of grass.

It was her. The Girl saw her own face, covered with bruises with the violin's wood, cuts from the violin's strings.

The Girl was finally back at the playground again. She was on the ground, looking up at herself bury her head in the sand. Until there was nothing left.

 **XxxT_TxxX**

" _Are you happy here, Sayaka-chan?"_

 _Sayaka was wondering how good it would be to pop this yolk on her egg. But she shouldn't be distracted. Madoka was asking her a question._

 _She nodded. "Of course. I've always been happy here."_

 _Madoka smiled. "I'm glad to hear that."_

 _The proceeded to talk about small things. The weather, how many girls Madoka managed to save that day, how many Sayaka would have to whip into shape to become proper Agents. It was going to be a busy day that day. Really, really busy._

" _Well, I don't want to take too much of your time now, Madoka-chan. You still have a universe to save."_

" _Don't worry, Sayaka-chan. I'll always have time. A lot of other Mes are taking care of things."_

 _She nodded. "I guess you're right."_

" _In fact, we're actually going to talk about something important."_

" _Yeah, I think somebody already told me earlier. Rescue mission, right?_

 _Madoka nodded. "Yup. Wanna meet the others together?"_

" _I'll take care of these dishes first. You go on without me."_

" _Alright, but don't be late okay?"_

" _Of course!" she said with a grin._

 _When her best friend had left and Sayaka collected the plates they used, a deep feeling of happiness came over her. She looked over her shoulder, seeing Madoka's back as she went for the door in her serene grace. Seeing that figure, the blunette felt like she was walking in the sunniest days ever created. She was no longer in the dining room. She was back in the Hall, happily training new recruits. She was back at the Tanhauser Gate, fighting her hardest with all of her friends. She was back in the bedroom, making love to Kyoko, feeling the euphoria she had ignored for so long. Why did she ever doubt Madoka in the first place?_

 _She watched the Goddess walk away. So many weeks did it take Sayaka to understand the happiness that laid within that divine figure, that eternal symbol of happiness that brought hope to everybody. Oh, cruel, needless misunderstanding! She never had to question her at all! So many weeks in paradise… wasted!_

 _Two tears trickled down the Girl's cheeks. But everything was now okay. She didn't need to worry any longer, the struggle was finally finished. She was truly in Heaven._

 _Sayaka Miki had won the victory over herself. She loved Madoka Kaname._


End file.
